Worst car you owned ?

Toss up between a vauxhall Firenza 1256 and a bay window camper, the Firenza was actually left on the end of my drive all night with the window down and the keys in the ignition and STILL didn't get stolen.
The camper was a project, when buying bits of an enthusiastic dealer who was keen to know if I liked it, and was told not much.
He told me I'd feel differently when I drove it.
He was right, I hated it. It went asap

A Mk3 Ford Escort.

It was more rust than steel and it attempted to immolate itself with me in it on my way home one day. It remains the first and last time I've been in a car on fire. Not that I was in it very long.

I still have lots of happy memories attached to it though.

2005 Peugeot 307cc, the electrics did whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. I walked up to it after work one day, pressed the key button to open the roof, it went down then up then halfway down and stopped all the while this was happening the electric seats are going forwards against the stops. It only lasted 4 months before I rejected it. Worst bike was a 2002 Ducati 748S in Grey with red Marchesini wheels, you only needed to walk past it with a glass of water for it to breakdown, I washed it carefully once and it cost me £400. Nothing beat the noise of the carbon Termignonis though, even if it was £300 for a service and £600 for a cambelt and valve service.

I ended up with a once very well known black skoda s110r, on VW centreline alloys, sitting on it's bump stops as someone hacksawed all the springs. It looked achingly cool but drove like a broken toaster. the driveshafts were only about 1inch inside the cups and they would slip in and out often - It couldn't be driven on any MOT ramp so I just stuck it in freeads and sold it on.

The point it had to go was when I picked off a bit of plastic from the heavily discolored rear light clusters, and the entire front of the cover disintigrated into yellowish dust. The real kick in the teeth was a contact who worked at skoda had a mate in yugoslavia who collected skodas and was given my address, and he sent a replacement over. The postage had not been very kind to this package and all that was inside was lumps of plastic and yellowish dust ....

Early '80s Holden Gemini purchased for far too much from a dealer in Invercargill in 1995. It was an absolute pos. We didn't have it very long. The best thing my ex-wife ever did was spin it out on a rainy night in Dunedin and slam it backwards into something immovable collapsing the whole of the boot up against the back seat. In hindsight we ought to have kept the Mk3 Cortina 2000E that preceded it but at the time it was just another old car that was worth nothing.

Lupo/Arosa?

Objectively worst and the ones I've liked the least are two very different questions!

You could argue that the X1/9 that is loud, noisy, windows don't seal, gearchange is nasty (one I made, need to make it better), took a year to fix up and still needs a boatload of work, and is currently dead from headgasket failure (my fault) is the worst. But I like it.

You could argue the BX which is a clattery smelly old diesel that snapped its clutch cable at a thoroughly inconvenient time and has shocking paintwork is the worst. But I like it.

You could argue that the XJ40 that similarly died of headgasket failure (my fault again), nearly bankrupted my when I was earning just above minimum wage, had a diff I swapped in that whined horribly (before I learnt you need to shim CROWNwheels to get correct tooth mesh) was the worst. But I like it.

You could argue that the Triumph 2000 I overpaid for that turned out to have a gearbox that buckets out oil, a rusty windscreen frame so if it rains your feet get wet, has no interior so it's louder inside than out, and has a rear hub with 6mm of in-out play is the worst. But I like it.

I think the car I've liked the least was probably my first car, a 2002 1.2 Vauxhall Corsa. It never broke, was economical, and got me mobile as a teen. Sterling service, but it just didn't really do much else.

Or maybe the E46 330i I bought off my mate to flip. It was a fine enough car, very quick indeed, but the throttle response was abysmal. It was clearly mapped for economy where you get very little throttle movement unless you stamp on it and it all comes at once. I'm sure that's easily mappable out, but considering the rave reviews it gets I expected it to be a bit better in standard form.

I've not owned any properly modern cars, but any that I've driven have been even worse than the above two. Numb and non-linear-feeling steering and throttle response. Sound deadened to oblivion. Can't see anything out of the windows so reversing is catastrophic and blind spots on the motorway are huge. No space inside them despite being enormous. They're sensory deprivation boxes and I dislike them greatly.

Triumph Dolomite Sprint.

Not too bad rust wise. On the outside - took me ages to work out the random cessation of motion was casued by a flake of rust in the boot mounted petrol tank blocking the pipe . .

Brakes were curse word even after full refurb. then the servo diaphragm broke and jammed the master cylinder, holding the brakes on the commute home . . . that was minutes after the clutch slave failed . . . so I was struggling to move until the brakes faded and caught fire when most of the way home . . .

Water leaked in around the very distorted bolt in transmission cover.

Good not get a pair of carb isolator mounts that didn't crack and leak after a few months, so it usually ran terrible, even after the rust flakes were sorted.

It did not like corners - or rather it did, but the frantic spinning of the thin rimmed steering wheel to try to catch the back end was less fun . . .

ALways liked the look of them, and still do, but compared to the Lancia Betas of similar vintage I'd owned, it was terrible

Early Fiat X1/9.

Had it “inspected” by two mates as I was working all the hours at the time. They ok’d it and the PO delivered it - in the dark.

It was very cheap due to a loom fire under the dash. What had not been reported was the loom fire was caused by a welding attempt. Damn that thing was rusty. Really, truly, deeply rotten. Other issues included a gear linkage that could be politely described as obstructive an alternator that didn’t charge and brakes that pulled in all directions randomly. I didn’t discover any of this (apart from the rust) until after I’d invested many hours sorting the wiringThis was in the late 80s and spares were really difficult to find. Luckily I found an enthusiast quite locally with a collection of them and a garage full of spares. He had a front loom from a 1300 of the same age so we thought all would be good. However, problem no. 1 was that the fire damage included the front part of the rear loom and the joining plug (along with throttle cable) and problem no. 2 was that the colours on the new loom were entirely different from the original and neither matched the Haynes manual…….

I did eventually get everything working, but it was a mission. My not entirely legal first drive took place late at night in a Dorset village and I was most concerned to discover half the local constabulary out in the village……. As it turned out they were busy raiding the pub for after hours drinking and not at all interested in me but it gave me a nasty fright, as did the car trying to attack the hedge (either side, apparently at random) whenever I braked.

I fixed the brakes simply by stripping every caliper and cleaning them up and freeing them off. Breaking every bleed nipple in the process…..

Did quite a bit of welding. Took it for mot. Came back and did alot more welding. Finally it passed.

Then the biggest disappointment of all. It was sooooo slooooow……. Engine wonderfully sweet sounding and free revving but gutless. My 1500 swapped Herald was very much quicker….. Drove it around for a bit but couldn’t get to love it, or even like it, so it got sold. It sold easily, possibly because I didn’t have the cheek to ask a lot for it. I broke even in purely cash terms but the hours……. I lost big on the hours.

Danced in the drive when it left and haven’t owned another Italian since…

Nick