1995 Range Rover P38 4.6 HSE - Cool Running

Can't tell you what the stuff is, but it usually just wipes off with glass cleaner. Late 80's Vw headlights used to do it for a pastime, but you could un-crimp the bulb holder from the reflector and clean the light lens with a soft cloth held in some long thin pliers.

This sounds optimistic. I'll see if I can get hold on one of those small moppy things on a stick and have a poke around. Again, nowt to lose.

So, in addition to everything else, a coupl’a weeks ago, stuff started going missing from Tondo Towers. Only little bits to start with, a few coins here and there so you’d hardly notice, but then growing to Pesos 500, 1,000, 5,000, then an actually genuine Gucci watch of Madam’s and even 200 Pesos from Tania’s purse followed by 100 from Jey-Ann’s. Hmmm, not nice and house is at DEFCON 4. Wednesday morning, Madam announced that another 1,000 pesos had gone walkabout. DEFCON 5.

Later that day, the girls and I were playing hide and seek and please, bear with me here for a moment, it’s relevant. In the house there are a restricted number of places to do the former which makes the latter fairly simple, so the hunt for new hiding places is of paramount importance, if of limited result. On this occasion, Tania was ‘it’ and Jey-Ann and I were to be the hiders. Whilst Tania counted dutifully to oh, I don’t know, seven or something, Jey-Ann asked me to help her get on top of a set of cupboards whilst I, with great originality, was going to be behind a door (told you hiding places are limited). To comply with her request we had to quickly move some stuff to make room and there, wonder of wonders, is a Peso 1000 note.

Quick as a flash, we both realised it was unlikely to have fallen up there and having one reported missing earlier, we speculated whether there could there be a connection? God, we’re a sharp team. Move over Holmes and Watson.

Calling a quick time-out on our spellbinding game we traipsed downstairs and presented our findings, and possible evidence, to the large assembled company, including our driver and the maid. At this point the maid went white, which isn’t a bad feat for a dusky Filipina, and tried to make her excuses and leave. Not concrete proof, but could this be numbah one suspect?

Maid-y-baby then gave her evidence and said that it was the girls what done it. Apparently her first stab was that Tania asked her to pawn the watch and that Jey-Ann, for some strange reason, had asked her to hide the 1000 note we’d found, that very morning. As Jey-Ann was a school at the time this particular bit of stealing happened, she’s alibi-ed up, something inconveniently forgotten and remember, as J-A could easily convert PHP1,000 into food in nanoseconds thus eating the evidence, she has no need to hide it. Apparently, she also threw me in as another possibility for stealing the watch, that I’d bought as a birthday present some time ago, when she thought the Tania angle wasn’t washing.

So, having tried to spread the blame around, shotgun style, Madam was getting bored so it was down the Barangay Hall time. On arrival at there, she then admitted that it could have been her and gave some address to Madam where she sold the watch. Turned out to be Bullplop. We now have the correct address…

At around one in the morning, she finally admitted everything so Madam, by now a bit tetchy at the endless prevarication, sportingly had her arrested. Apparently it was either that or, “I pull your head off”.

So there we go, if she’d coughed right at the beginning and seen the error of her ways – mercy of the court and all that – she’d probably be working again now. As it is, she’s got a lovely concrete floor to sleep on, nowt to eat in her 5 star cell and her boyfriend has probably sold her baby into sexual slavery so he can buy some glue.

And the 1,000 note? Well, it was one and the same and she, knowing we were on the hunt, hid it on top of the cupboard in case someone searched her. I think that more will be revealed in the coming days, possibly involving ghosts. Stay tuned, pop pickers.

Good grief!
Well at least life isn't dull!

Excellent thread. Could it be that the locals think you are International undercover Plod looking for vice ?

Another major fail today.

After penning my earlier entry, I set to thinking when, like a bolt from the blue, it struck me. How could I have been so blind? How could I have been so stupid?

Those who have been keeping up may remember that a couple of months ago I attended Manila's biggest motoring event, the Manila Salon. Maybe it was the extortionate one pound twenty pence entry fee or perhaps the fact that there was hardly anything worth looking at that had blinded me. Whatever, I suddenly remembered that whilst there I had secured a new Blue Point 3/8 socket set at very a reasonable price and that, just possibly, this supplier may have other handy tools available. They had very kindly supplied me with a big roughy-toughy bag, that I use for bulk wine buys, upon which were their contact details.

Hitting the amazingly comprehensive website, there, against all the odds, was a selection of vises available for purchase. Checking the address showed it wasn't a million miles away either. Filled with optimism, I pointed the rather fetching and V8 filled nose of the P38 to the required destination.

It was a demolition site.

Back to square one.

I feel bad for laughing! I still am though. :-)

I have a spare if you want me to post it over!

I can't believe the effort it takes to get a "Vise"

Wow, that's a pretty healthy discount. Good luck with your joints.

Lets see your vi(s|c)e then