Paul
Posted a lot
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I've got a RR thread going on where I work through all my terrible decisions and broken sort-of-retro-a-little-desirable-but-not-much chode over here:https://forum.retro-rides.org/thread/216257/paul-misadventures-out My new ride, however, felt like it deserved something better...so here I am to showcase the new wheels. A little context... I've been a fan of Americana for some time, having spent many holidays there, some with family in the US and even got married in California. The straight roads and the big, lazy V8 land yachts and pickup trucks have always held a fascination. I'd even flirted with buying a pickup truck of my own recently - I narrowly missed out on a 5.7 V8 Stepside Chevy Silverado a few months ago. However pickup trucks are by definition highly utilitarian on the inside. Big and brash, but generally without creature comforts. I'd settled on a sweet spot of 80s into the early 90s. Any older was likely to be unreliable and parts even harder to source...younger and it would hold little interest to myself or the retro interested among us. Lazily browsing FB marketplace and the assorted American car groups I came across a recent advert for this car. A few pictures taken on a potato, very few details, being sold for a 'friend'...I was intrigued. Further investigation revealed that it was being sold by James, a retired US Army veteran who had previously been stationed at RAF Alconbury, near Cambridge. My interest continued, and I raced up there straight after work last Friday.  As it happened James, 72 but could easily pass for 20 years younger, has a car problem like the rest of us. Once he had me signed in through security we toured the base (it used to be an active airforce base, but the runway and associated buildings have all gone - it's now a 'support' base) and he pointed out a wide range of cars that belonged to him - a Saab, a couple of Hondas, a very tasty looking Chevy Suburban. He even has a container with all his spares stored. We rounded a corner to the living area and there she was, sitting pretty. A deal was done quickly - it gave me what hairymel would call the 'tingle' right away, and as we lazily lolled around the base I knew I had to have her. Head full of thoughts on how I was going to hide this 18 foot long behemoth from my wife, I headed for home down the M11 to ponder. Which leads us to part 2... |
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Last Edit: Jul 12, 2021 14:39:43 GMT by Paul
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Paul
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,999
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Trying to find a window of opportunity to escape for a couple of hours, I sneakily contrived to meet Mel around lunchtime (when the wife and son were absent) and race up the M11 in the Ovlov. James met us at the base, and I went through the same protracted sign in process as with the day before - Mel waiting outside for fear of being made an accessory to this secret-from-the-wife deal. James provided me with a couple of spare parts, I exchanged keys for money, we shook hand and he pointed me to the exit off the base. I pulled up next to Mel only for a very, very irate security guard to wander over. "Did I just sign a permit for you? Where's your escort? You cannot be left unescorted on base...huge violation...STAND BY STAND BY". Fearing an international incident I did as I was told, whilst ringing James on the phone. I can't repeat exactly what he said, but the general gist was that she would probably phone her boss - who happened to be a friend of his for some 40 years. We waited. And waited. Eventually said guard came out and continued to berate all of us (and she was quite heavily armed I might add), I blurted some very British apology, shook hands with James once again and went on my (somewhat belated) way. This is the face of a man who's just been rumbled, and is reaching for the phone in readiness to read his wife's next angry message - but secretly delighted with his choice:  Here she is on the way home...you can't see the idiot behind the wheel grinning from ear to ear... If you've made it this far, very well done, a greater description and PICS of the car to follow... |
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Paul
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,999
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So a rundown of the car itself. 1987 5.0 v8 (which is strictly speaking a 4.9l Windsor engine), good for 150bhp when new in a car weighing 1,700kg. That's 400kg more than the Golf the wife dailies, and pretty much on a par with our camper van. James couldn't fill me in about much of the history, but the car has had UK MOTs since 2018 - which I presume is when it arrived on these shores. Sold to Joe and Ingrid Menzes in 1987 at a Ford dealership in Lubbock, Texas (most famous for being the home of the Buddy Holly memorial)...  ...and it would appear it stayed within the family until at least 2015:  Sold to them by Bonner Bennett...  ...who is actually on LinkedIn. Or should I say was. A bit of Googling revealed that he passed away in 2011, and his wife in 2016. So if I'm to trace any info about the car that's a dead end. However in America they have the White Pages, a sort-of-equivalent to our old phone, book, and a bit more research would suggest that the Joe and Ingrid Menzes are still alive and well, and still in Lubbock, Texas. Incredibly, due to some rather lax data protection, I've even managed to source a home address. I will most definitely be writing...as I have to the Ford dealership which still exists. Hopefully more to follow here. This badge, found in one of the seat pockets, most definitely needs to be restored to its rightful place on the back of the car:  Texas being a dry state means that there's remarkably little rust and no rot - sure, there's surface 'patina' and a few dings (again, being 18 feet long and well over 6feet wide won't help).      Cavernous rear boot will accommodate 2, maybe 3 dead bodies:  Blues Brothers would approve:  They started making these in 1979 and the design was barely revised throughout - right up until 1990. It's mental really, the interior is a total throwback. Huge uncracked vinyl dash.  ...with carpet. Because you have to really, don't you?  All the plushness - seats 3 up front if you raise the arm rests, with a lap belt across the middle. Not the original steering wheel sadly, but this one does tone in well with the (totally fake) wood  It's a nice place to hide from the rain at a car show  All the period features...the only thing I've found not working is the rear electric windows - can hear the motors turning, but the glass isn't for moving.           Huge bonnet hiding a huge engine   Just point the emblem where you want to go...  |
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Last Edit: Jul 5, 2021 10:32:43 GMT by Paul
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Paul
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,999
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Now the reason I've 'showcased' this is because it needs remarkably little work. First off was to remove the garish stereo and fit something that at least gives the pretense of retro - £17 on Amazon, has radio/Bluetooth (most importantly) / and USB / memory stick compatibility:  Couple of hidden screws and the trim just pops off:   Most of the hard work had already been done - the wiring was just plug and play:  Now the more savvy of you will note 2 things in this picture.  1) The big red switch...that's for the fog light - obviously not obligatory in the states. I've ordered a smaller round one and will subtly OEM+ it to the car somewhere nearby 2) Despite indicating 90+ kmph the car is in reverse according to the shift gauge. Thankfully I wasn't in reverse. This is an incredibly common fault apparently (at least ChrisFix said). The cable is held to the steering column by a plastic bracket and screwed tight. Over time this breaks, and shifting the column shifter does little to move the actual needle on the gauge. One surreptitious cable tie later...  Now I may get around to ordering the actual part (£15 from the States plus whatever tax, shipping, tax, postage is necessary) OR if this holds I'm just tempted to leave it. I need to get around to the rear windows but nobody sits there so really I'd rather just drive it. It'll also need a full service, and one of the accessory belts looks much the worse for wear. Driving it you say? Well, it's everything you'd expect. Ridiculously wallowy in corners, terrible at roundabouts, ponderous at best on the big roads, and the power steering is totally over-assisted. But it turns heads. At the Coffee morning yesterday in Colchester they parked me well away from the Audis and Beemers, but when we rolled out not one person didnt stop, stare, photo, video...the works. And it makes me very happy. Which is the point of all this surely? |
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Last Edit: Jul 5, 2021 18:09:03 GMT by Paul
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Paul
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,999
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mmmm, tasty. Remove a few inches from the ride height, liberate a few of those strangled horses and enjoy Wheel spacers already on order as the track seems a bit 'pinched' under that massive body. And I'll definitely be researching how to tune this lump...although not just yet |
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duncanmartin
Club Retro Rides Member
Out of retro ownership
Posts: 1,320
Club RR Member Number: 70
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1987 Ford LTD CROWN Victoriaduncanmartin
@duncanmartin
Club Retro Rides Member 70
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Given where it came from and that badge, it needs one of these stickers in the back window.  Texas Tech (based in Lubbock) are the "Red Raiders" you see... |
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I am so pleased for you Paul.
Congratulations.
It is a lovely looking thing.
This says it all:
But it turns heads. At the Coffee morning yesterday in Colchester they parked me well away from the Audis and Beemers, but when we rolled out not one person didnt stop, stare, photo, video...the works. And it makes me very happy. Which is the point of all this surely?
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Paul
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,999
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I am so pleased for you Paul. Congratulations. It is a lovely looking thing. This says it all: But it turns heads. At the Coffee morning yesterday in Colchester they parked me well away from the Audis and Beemers, but when we rolled out not one person didnt stop, stare, photo, video...the works. And it makes me very happy. Which is the point of all this surely?Much appreciated...like you always say, cars seem to find their right owners in the end 😊 |
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Nice... Driving that in the UK must be one hell of a statement.  Added bonus, its big enough to sleep in. Incase it triggers some big dispute on the homefront... |
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Paul
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,999
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A little epilogue on the weekend's events occurred last night. Having brought a prospective buyer for my Jeep over last night, hairymel couldn't resist looking under the LTD to try and identify what he thought was a puddle... 1) Thankfully there was no puddle - just the reflection of a manhole cover 2) He did this at the very moment Johnny 5-0 came around the corner. What followed was a IDing from the police who assumed that this shady character was about to try and lop my cats off, and me having to produce proof of tax and insurance since their databases had not updated since the weekend. The police were actually quite apologetic (in all honesty they had no reason to be, I'm glad they're clamping down on the riffraff around my estate) and were acting in response to a series of cat thefts in the area. Have now printed paper copies to keep in the glove box. In her natural habitat...  ..and I've already received my first one of these.  No. No I will not contact you. |
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Have now printed paper copies to keep in the glove box. Good move. Ever since I got pulled over and all I had on me was the old '70's pink paper UK license which resembles somewhat the Dead Sea Scrolls (well, it was issued in the early seventies!). Now, this Philippine bobby wasn't one of the, "But I can help you," cross my palm with Peso kind. Oh no. He gave me a rare old bollocking, albeit in broken English, telling me that next time he saw me he'd pull me again and if I had no Philippine license, or copies of the registration certificate and receipt for annual road tax he'd, "Have car crushed." No idea if he could or not, but the next day I'd obtained a newly minted license and had copies of the other stuff in the glove box!  |
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hairymel
Club Retro Rides Member
avatar by volksangyl
Posts: 1,081
Club RR Member Number: 207
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1987 Ford LTD CROWN Victoriahairymel
@hairymel
Club Retro Rides Member 207
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The police were actually quite apologetic Not really my Impression sadly. I can understand why the felt the need to swerve across the road to block my path, but overall they seemed more keen of just arresting anyone they could. I didn't get any apology only the feeling they were grumpy I wasn't going back to the copshop with them. You look relatively normal and I obviously lower the tone, but guilty until proven innocent tastes bad to me.. Not really the place for this moan but it left me feeling a bit sad. After this and the gungho soldier at the airbase I might at least have a wash and brush my hair next time I come near the CROWN Vic😂 |
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whats that burning smell?
oh curse word :-(
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Paul
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,999
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The police were actually quite apologetic Not really my Impression sadly. I can understand why the felt the need to swerve across the road to block my path, but overall they seemed more keen of just arresting anyone they could. I didn't get any apology only the feeling they were grumpy I wasn't going back to the copshop with them. You look relatively normal and I obviously lower the tone, but guilty until proven innocent tastes bad to me.. Not really the place for this moan but it left me feeling a bit sad. After this and the gungho soldier at the airbase I might at least have a wash and brush my hair next time I come near the CROWN Vic😂 I'll admit the actual road block did seem a bit unnecessary... |
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Paul
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,999
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Driven about 200 miles since collection, including 20 miles in a traffic jam - no drama (although there's no temperature gauge so unless things go psshhh I'm assuming all is well) SITREP: I found the central locking! And it works on 3/4 doors - I can hear the clunk clunk of the rear N/S door, and the pin is trying to move - so I'm optimistic that I can get it working. Also played with this during traffic...  It's not mentioned in the manual, and a little Googling revealed that it was an option until 1995. This feature is what it says it is...light sensing headlamps! In 1987! And with a variable delay on exit! I only noticed when I caught the reflection of the car in the petrol station (where else?) to see that the lights had on even when I hadn't pulled the stalk. Some frantic twiddling and yanking got them to go off, and I also worked out that the delay (like a lot of modern cars) is in place to allow you to walk up the sweeping drive of your gigantic Yank mansion in relative light and safety. Fascinating. And working perfectly it would seem! |
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Paul
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,999
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Sorting a few quick wins on the 'bouncy car' (as my son calls it) during some footyballbusiness the other night. First off, wiper jets. There is only one, it's a bizarre looking thing:  ...so I'd really like to avoid replacing it if possible. Single washer jet lives under this scuttle...2 8mm bolts, whilst the nozzle itself is bolted down with a 10mm  Clearly no problems with the flow of water...  Eww...gunky...  Attacked with one of these...this is about the 3rd time I've bought one, keep losing them  Much better  Now to sort the foglight switch situation - this will never do (also note the most 'murican of key lanyards - rock, flag and eagle bro)  Lots of spare wire, and helpfully two of them are the same colour.  Thought it best to keep the switch somewhere out of the way as I wanted to do the least damage to the dash - so went for the panel underneath the steering column - hole gingerly drilled out, 5 pound eBay switch trial fitted.  Factree:   High on success, I went to try and fit the spacers I'd sourced (also from eBay) Picture of OEM 'stance' for reference:  Front tyres will need replacing PDQ:  Ah  So close, but the spacer narrows at the wheel size by a couple of mm. Currently looking for a friendly machiner to widen them juuuust a touch as the studs, bolts, pitch etc. are all fine. Play stopped for the evening. |
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Last Edit: Jul 9, 2021 9:20:39 GMT by Paul
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Last Edit: Jul 9, 2021 12:36:34 GMT by grizz
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hairymel
Club Retro Rides Member
avatar by volksangyl
Posts: 1,081
Club RR Member Number: 207
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1987 Ford LTD CROWN Victoriahairymel
@hairymel
Club Retro Rides Member 207
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Jul 11, 2021 11:26:36 GMT
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 So. Much. Bonnet. |
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whats that burning smell?
oh curse word :-(
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hairymel
Club Retro Rides Member
avatar by volksangyl
Posts: 1,081
Club RR Member Number: 207
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1987 Ford LTD CROWN Victoriahairymel
@hairymel
Club Retro Rides Member 207
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Jul 11, 2021 15:37:54 GMT
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Every breath you take. Every move you make. I will be watching you.   I'm starting to feel a bit victimised 😂 |
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whats that burning smell?
oh curse word :-(
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Paul
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,999
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Jul 12, 2021 14:30:31 GMT
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Above pic was taken at the 'Cars and Camber' meet at Chelmsford's Park and Ride - a generally chilled event until a black BMW (I want to say 2 series, but of course we shied away from such shenanigans) started pulling burnouts and doughnuts. More gratuitous pictures as I just can't get enough: Reinstated the dealer badge with some 3M tape to its rightful (and OEM) position)  Broke out the linseed oil (better than any back to black you will find) for the front bumper which was badly faded and sun damaged. Before:  After - not perfect but a big improvement:  Same on the back...before:  Obligatory during shot:  And after:  Started hitting the chrome bits with some Autosol - these side lights come on with the indicators and, yes, do still work too. Little Paul there in the reflection, finding the whole thing fascinating. Maybe.  Then realised just how much shiny stuff there was on the car, sighed and gave up. Was hanging badly tbf. Quick hoover  Quick engine bay 'detail'  ...and a quick repair to the door cards that had popped off. The cards themselves were fine, the plugs were just brittle and worn out.   Paid about 6 quid for this set on eBay aeons ago...(why is aeons not in the dictionary? How dare you red line me)...used it to replace rivets on my Volvo bumper and reattach the rear boot inner trim panel, door cards in my daily BMW, to reaffix the bumper on the Jeep, and these door cards too. More than paid for itself...recommended!  |
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