Letter from Manila - Santol - of course!

Hello Paul, long time no hear!

Don't know what make our tree is, but it's a great way of meeting the neighbours. I recon we're getting around 5-7lbs a day of fruit dropping and that takes some distributing. People are going to be avoiding us soon, "Oh God, here he comes again with more bloody mangos!"

Fortunately, the pregnant woman across the road with the very handy mango craving is chowing down just about all we give her. I'll need to speak to her husband to ensure a repeat next fruiting season!

Fortunately, we don't got fruit bats, so that's one less problem.

Internet. What a simple little word, and one actually hiding a world of pain.

Having trawled through a bewildering set of "bundles" from various providers, then whittling the list down to those that actually serve our area, I settled on a Sky package. Filled in the online form, received an acknowledgement, followed by total and utter silence and no way of actually talking to a human being which, as we'll see, makes little difference.

Okay then, let's have a look at Globe. Filled in the online form and received a call a couple of days later telling me I could have their cheapest and slowest package only, because I'm a foreigner.

I pointed out that the package they were offering was actually slower than using my mobile as a hotspot, which is what I've been doing. After some to-ing and fro-ing it appeared that it was my ability to pay the 50 quid a month that was in doubt. To counter this, I offered to pay a year up-front. The lady went away.

Then she came back asking me to send copies of my lease agreement, secondment agreement, birth certificate, passport and several other documents I've probably forgotten to mention. Apparently all these would prove I'm a fine upstanding citizen and not about to do a flit just to avoid paying my internet bill.

A day or two passes and she calls back to tell me that, after all, I could have the package I wanted and no, I didn't need to pay in advance. Progress?

She calls me back again to happily tell me that everything was sorted and my internet would be installed and working within the week. That was last week, I've heard nowt since and I'm still using my phone as a hotspot!

What is it with these people?

Didn't you once say that the Filipinos had adopted the concept of Mañana from the Spanish but they didn't ascribe to it the extreme urgency of the Iberian version. Also my British experiences lead to the same conclusion the Sky has 'reserved' the line and Globe has walked away. Good luck if that's the case

Where I am in the US, I have the choice of one internet provider (Comcast). They make it incredibly difficult to buy an internet package without cable as well. But at least I have internet

If SpaceX's Starlink is as good as they say it's going to be, all the Internet providers who think they have a monopoly, will have to up their game significantly!

Tenacity or die!


I did. And nothing, but nothing (disclaimer, see below) has changed this.

As to the why's and what's, I'll go to the grave never knowing.


Sounds like you have definite point!


I have no problem having both. Well, I do, Sky refuse to respond!


Funnily enough, I'm about to order some Angus beef tenderloin any second and they do booze as well. That sounds like a fun experiment and I can always tell Madam it's the Bottle Opener's school project!


Looking to Mr D borrowing the money from China to cover the country in a Faraday Cage, thus protecting his mate's useless IP services.


See above, won't matter!

Now to the disclaimer referred to above.

Let's forget that we started the visa renewal with the Bureau of Immigration back in August. Let's also forget that they shut their offices at a crucial time, but see this as no good reason for me not seeing them, thus getting the visa cleared and all ready to go into my nice shiny (and blue) passport.



Let's also discount the fact that they have had said passport since the beginning of February. In fact it was only in my possession for 24 hours following its arrival from the UK.

See? Tolerance as well as tenacity.

On Wednesday, I received a call from my lawyer (doesn't that sound posh?) telling me to be at the BoI office in Intramuros at 1pm today. There, apparently, I'd be met by Rochelle, an approved agent. Seems this is the first time the lawyer has used one (she normally turns up herself, but was in court all day) so she asked me to report back on proceedings.

Left home at 11.30 and given the new Skyway extension, was at BoI at a little after 12 noon. Unheard of. There was a huge queue of be-mask-ed figures all awaiting their turn to be allowed in. Hmm, this didn't look good.

Contacted Rochelle who told me to wait in the car for a moment. At 12.10, she called, we waved at each other, I walked over. She immediately whisked me past the queue, through the main door, had me sign two forms, already accomplished, dragged me over to get photo'd and fingerprinted, and spat me back out, blinking in the sunlight at 12.20. No charge.

I think I'm still in shock!

That means the Alien Registration Card will now be processed and the visa will follow shortly. Possibly.

I reported back an A+ for Rochelle's service.

I'm staggered by the no charge bit, are you sure one of those forms wasn't a marriage certificate?

Not half as surprised as I was.


Brilliant! Hope not.

In my Wednesday conversation, I'd asked if a, "facilitation fee" was to be expected. That got a resounding, "No!" and that the lawyer would be paying for her services directly. Fairy nuff.

It's best to check these things out beforehand if you can. Less chance of cocking up that way.

Still no internet. Three weeks now. I've got an order tracking number, but the status hasn't changed from 'Pending', although pending what is unclear. Globe have also managed to sort out their "Customer Services" so they never have to actually verbally engage with another human being, ever.

Let's try someone else, although I'm rapidly running out!

Alcohol will cure that...

Love the science project cover story.