This is it. A once in a lifetime opportunity to own Mr Saxobeat. I won't fill this section up with unsubstantiated drivel such as the car returning 200 miles per gallon or running at 300bhp... Everything you read here is true, if a little mundane and boring.
Citroen Saxo 1.1, Contact John on 0191 3886373 or preferably bid via ebay to offer us both an additional layer of protection.
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/150740932443?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649
Good Points:
A cheap tidy runabout that has not let me down since I bought it from what I thought was a burnt out pensioner in Newcastle. He was only 23 years old!
MrSaxobeat has fewer miles than I thought, with 88,016 at the time of this update
An uprated VTR interior with no rips, stains, burns or wear patches. Wish I could say the same since I bought this car...
An additional "O" on the windscreen, at the right angle, pedestrians think I am Simon Templar, "The Saint".
A fully operational car. Many cars have umpteen gadgets to go wrong and generally malfunction, Mr Saxobeat simply has some 'stuff' and 'things' which work perfectly, unlike cup holders, binnacles, digital displays and Sat Navs that other cars have.
All the essential warning lights come on when the ignition is turned on then they go out as soon as the car is running. No shonky blocked out bulbs here.
Mr Saxobeat will come with four steel wheels all of which have legal tread. He has MOT until June and Tax until April (June and April eh? even they tried it on with me...), he also has some juice in the tank. Drive him away! But please, not past the nunnery. Not after the last time...
Despite Mr Saxobeat being 14 years old and also a raging ball of sexual magnetism, I am still getting fuel efficiency figures that are just about the same as the book figure of 42mpg. Mind you, my personal tanks are always running on empty, syphoned off by the hot chicks who see me in Mr Saxobeat. They do ache like two dried out walnuts...
The steering is light and accurate at low and motorway speed.
The car has the ideal size engine for sexyness, the 1.0 is too weedy, the 1.2 tries too hard to be 1.1 and the 1.4 & 1.6 versions are officially rated by the child support agency as "impotent".
Bad Points:
Two warning lights come on when turning hard left. I've had it looked at and I was told it was a loose connection on the wiring, as the coolant and oil lights both come on at the same time and go off at the same time. If either sensor were being starved then only one light would come on at a time.
Flaking lacquer on bonnet. Most likely from where the previous owner had to "squire" ladies.
Some small dents and dings. I did think these were due to supermarket trolleys/ car park knocks, but I now suspect they are probably most likely due to jealous husbands.
The sex. It has all got too much for me. I thought I could handle it, it was fun to start with, but it has all got a bit too demanding. As a result of owning this car, which makes everyone either say "O" or "Ooooooo", I've had to spend too much time saying "aaahhhh". Quite frankly, my left hip is worn out and my knees are like pork scratchings. It all got too much when a huge touring coach nearly ran us off the road. A little old fella in a dressing robe got out and told me he was called Hugh Hepner or something like that and he had a coach full of nubiles who 'wanted to take a ride in Mr Saxobeat'. I reversed and pootled off quite happily until I saw Martina Navaratilova and Sophie from Coronation Street having a pint of bitter and smoking pipes. I parked up and asked if I could join them, thinking I'd be safe. By the time I got back from the bar they'd ditched the waistcoats and comfortable shoes and were cavorting around Mr Saxobeat. They said they'd respect me afterwards, but they didn't.
MrSaxobeat came to me with some blackened, shagged out alloys that need a rub down and refurbish. I know how they feel. I don't even know why this is a bad bit, as I'll whop them off and put on the good steelies.
Rumour has it that John Prescott used to take his secretary out for a spin in this very car, although I do doubt that rumour as I've just made it up
This car is not suitable to give to your wife to drive. I asked my wife to pop to Boulevard in Newcastle in the car to pick up my mate Kevin's handbag. Jimmy Somerville and George Michael asked for a lift to Dunstan Social Club, but once in the car they were all over her, although she does assure me she beat them both off. Especially George she said. "Especially George". Although I'm still not sure why Brad Pitt was in Dunstan Social Club, or why he needed a lift to Lumley Castle or why that took her eight hours.
So there you go, a £280 starting price for an unassuming car that won't let you down with no fanciful stories about BHP, MPG or WTF. £400 for buy it now.
Test drives are very welcome, but please bring some contraception as you will need it when you get spotted out in this. Just tonight, returning from the filling station, an imprezza ripped past. The female passenger opened her door and tried to grab Mr Saxobeat's wing mirror. I looked at the driver, expecting him to be furious, but he just shrugged. He knew...
Please do come and check out and test a car I am proud to have owned, have a good look and all inspections are most welcome. BTW, thats not even my house! Mr Saxobeat was once again trying to lure me into a "dangerzone". The little French tickler!!!!
I'm not willing to send Mr Saxobeat overseas, so if you are not in the UK, please do not bid.
More picture will follow soon. Thankyou please.
Citroen Saxo 1.1, Contact John on 0191 3886373 or preferably bid via ebay to offer us both an additional layer of protection.
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/150740932443?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649
Good Points:
A cheap tidy runabout that has not let me down since I bought it from what I thought was a burnt out pensioner in Newcastle. He was only 23 years old!
MrSaxobeat has fewer miles than I thought, with 88,016 at the time of this update
An uprated VTR interior with no rips, stains, burns or wear patches. Wish I could say the same since I bought this car...
An additional "O" on the windscreen, at the right angle, pedestrians think I am Simon Templar, "The Saint".
A fully operational car. Many cars have umpteen gadgets to go wrong and generally malfunction, Mr Saxobeat simply has some 'stuff' and 'things' which work perfectly, unlike cup holders, binnacles, digital displays and Sat Navs that other cars have.
All the essential warning lights come on when the ignition is turned on then they go out as soon as the car is running. No shonky blocked out bulbs here.
Mr Saxobeat will come with four steel wheels all of which have legal tread. He has MOT until June and Tax until April (June and April eh? even they tried it on with me...), he also has some juice in the tank. Drive him away! But please, not past the nunnery. Not after the last time...
Despite Mr Saxobeat being 14 years old and also a raging ball of sexual magnetism, I am still getting fuel efficiency figures that are just about the same as the book figure of 42mpg. Mind you, my personal tanks are always running on empty, syphoned off by the hot chicks who see me in Mr Saxobeat. They do ache like two dried out walnuts...
The steering is light and accurate at low and motorway speed.
The car has the ideal size engine for sexyness, the 1.0 is too weedy, the 1.2 tries too hard to be 1.1 and the 1.4 & 1.6 versions are officially rated by the child support agency as "impotent".
Bad Points:
Two warning lights come on when turning hard left. I've had it looked at and I was told it was a loose connection on the wiring, as the coolant and oil lights both come on at the same time and go off at the same time. If either sensor were being starved then only one light would come on at a time.
Flaking lacquer on bonnet. Most likely from where the previous owner had to "squire" ladies.
Some small dents and dings. I did think these were due to supermarket trolleys/ car park knocks, but I now suspect they are probably most likely due to jealous husbands.
The sex. It has all got too much for me. I thought I could handle it, it was fun to start with, but it has all got a bit too demanding. As a result of owning this car, which makes everyone either say "O" or "Ooooooo", I've had to spend too much time saying "aaahhhh". Quite frankly, my left hip is worn out and my knees are like pork scratchings. It all got too much when a huge touring coach nearly ran us off the road. A little old fella in a dressing robe got out and told me he was called Hugh Hepner or something like that and he had a coach full of nubiles who 'wanted to take a ride in Mr Saxobeat'. I reversed and pootled off quite happily until I saw Martina Navaratilova and Sophie from Coronation Street having a pint of bitter and smoking pipes. I parked up and asked if I could join them, thinking I'd be safe. By the time I got back from the bar they'd ditched the waistcoats and comfortable shoes and were cavorting around Mr Saxobeat. They said they'd respect me afterwards, but they didn't.
MrSaxobeat came to me with some blackened, shagged out alloys that need a rub down and refurbish. I know how they feel. I don't even know why this is a bad bit, as I'll whop them off and put on the good steelies.
Rumour has it that John Prescott used to take his secretary out for a spin in this very car, although I do doubt that rumour as I've just made it up
This car is not suitable to give to your wife to drive. I asked my wife to pop to Boulevard in Newcastle in the car to pick up my mate Kevin's handbag. Jimmy Somerville and George Michael asked for a lift to Dunstan Social Club, but once in the car they were all over her, although she does assure me she beat them both off. Especially George she said. "Especially George". Although I'm still not sure why Brad Pitt was in Dunstan Social Club, or why he needed a lift to Lumley Castle or why that took her eight hours.
So there you go, a £280 starting price for an unassuming car that won't let you down with no fanciful stories about BHP, MPG or WTF. £400 for buy it now.
Test drives are very welcome, but please bring some contraception as you will need it when you get spotted out in this. Just tonight, returning from the filling station, an imprezza ripped past. The female passenger opened her door and tried to grab Mr Saxobeat's wing mirror. I looked at the driver, expecting him to be furious, but he just shrugged. He knew...
Please do come and check out and test a car I am proud to have owned, have a good look and all inspections are most welcome. BTW, thats not even my house! Mr Saxobeat was once again trying to lure me into a "dangerzone". The little French tickler!!!!
I'm not willing to send Mr Saxobeat overseas, so if you are not in the UK, please do not bid.
More picture will follow soon. Thankyou please.
Attachments:
Ax GTi Turbo