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Jan 28, 2008 19:09:36 GMT
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Put 205 back together after changing clutch went to start it and it wouldn't go. Spent ages checking fuses, unsticking starter motor but it would not go. Dad comes out and says 'you sure the battery terminals are done up tight?'. jolly pain in the backside Started first time. That reminds me of a task the lecturer set this plank in our class at college, put electrical tape around the neg terminal and put the clamp back on ..... 3hrs and needed major hintage!
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Faster. Faster. Until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.
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Jan 28, 2008 19:10:47 GMT
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Bought Weber carb conversion for my Scirocco off eBay, it arrived, notice missing washer. Fit carb using new washer to replace the missing one. Start car, go for drive, notice horrible rattling noise as the washer that was stuck inside the carb is sucked into a cylinder. ;D Strip engine, remove mangled washer................
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1989 Saab 900i Convertible 1993 Rover 416 GSi
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Jan 28, 2008 19:13:28 GMT
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Erm..... 1981 , I was in the Military, and had my little Datsun 140Y SDX..... serviced it on the lawn behind the baracks, dould not get it started, after about an hours worth of pushing and cursing, one of my mates picked the rotor up , off the top of the battery and asked If I had one in there already..... no ?
Yesterday, simple little repeat, fitted the wheels for the trailer, greased up, and then painted everything over in a light coat of Hammerite to repair the damage from changing tyres..... forgot the mudguards go on first..... Dohh !!
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Jan 28, 2008 19:19:14 GMT
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.......almost finished a Westfield and tried to start it up, no joy. An hour later one bright spark friend says 'have you put any petrol in it?'.............
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Peugeot 307sw - Suzuki SV650S - MX5.
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J.P
Posted a lot
I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks.
Posts: 1,175
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Jan 28, 2008 19:19:56 GMT
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1) Taking the drum back plates off the radius arms on the Mini. Sitting in the garage on my own, no other plans that day so no rush, radio on etc. Ratchet and 13mm socket on the bolt, turn turn turn turn, distraction of the radio etc I didn't notice that the nut on the other side was just spinning away. Must have spent 45mins turning one bolt without noticing. 2) GTI front dampers fitted to the metro. Lost the nut for the bolt holding the RHS damper on.No more old thread bolts left to hold it on, its 2am and the trackday is tomorrow morning. No worries, that bolt is definatly long enough, it'll never move off that. Trackday, it of course wiggled the damper off the bolt and every left turn the right side bottomed out. Home, wheel off, 'Ohh, Damper just held on by the top bolt...' Jack car up. Take wheel off. Wheel spins with brace. Lower car. Loosen nuts. Jack up again. Remove wheel. Sigh. Frequently!
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Last Edit: Jan 28, 2008 19:23:26 GMT by J.P
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Jan 28, 2008 19:58:07 GMT
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long ago..... started a customers e30 auto with faulty inhibitor swith whilst in D. I managed to hit the throttle instead of the brake. went for N but overshot into R. the door was open on a 4 post ramp. suddenly there was no door however the guy at a ford dealer done it with a scorpio ultima. in the air, it went through the wall and landed in the parts department helicopter mechanic claiming to the best mechanic becuse blah blah blah. didn't notice the pool of engine oil he was standing in as he forgot to put the sump plug in the forklift. mistakes are an acceptable thing, claiming to be gods gift whilst performing a simple faux pas makes you look like a giant knob tho! you're not human unless you knacker something whilst fixing it at least once in your life
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Raoul Duke
Part of things
Posts: 990
Club RR Member Number: 117
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moron mechanics...Raoul Duke
@raoulduke
Club Retro Rides Member 117
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Jan 28, 2008 20:20:17 GMT
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Losing the keys to the Mini. (which is stored in a barn with no electricity)
Spending an hour removing ignition barrel with a junior hacksaw after instantly shearing the heads off the security bolts.
Spending about 2 hours & 3 finger-tips changing the door-handles.
Spending a further 2 hours trying to re-shape the fuel filler neck after removing the locking cap with mole-grips.
Spending another half-hour trying to gently remove the new filler cap after jamming it into a still-slightly-oval filler neck.
.......and then finding the original keys in a jacket pocket a few weeks later...................
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Last Edit: Jan 28, 2008 20:22:04 GMT by Raoul Duke
...a redder shade of neck on a whiter shade of trash...
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frp
Part of things
Posts: 87
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Jan 28, 2008 20:30:50 GMT
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i have never locked my self out of a 106 rallye with some sort of anti car jacking system in the alarm and the keys still in the ignition , twice .
thank god for matel coat hangers and pugs ability to build cars which can be broken into in 2 minutes or so .
i have never takent he word of a scrap dealer telling me the engine he was supplying had a unlocked ecu and i would have no problems with it , 2 days of checking all the re-wiring , fuel lines , pump , plugs , coil pack , etc etc over and over again i find out its locked up and thats why I'm not on the road yet .
nor have i thought id bled the radiator thourghly only to realise 8 miles from home that the temps sufddenly hit red and leaving me on the side of the road slightly miffed off at my eagerness to get it on the road and not double check .
then there is the classic dropping a nut after taking a plug out , then spending ages with a telescopic magnet , eventually getting it out ( that one wasnt me )
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edhall
Part of things
Posts: 88
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Jan 28, 2008 20:42:59 GMT
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I definitely did not work in a garage where we had a Scimitar on a 2 post lift. had to do a job where we had to get into the car through the door so tied the door open to the top of the lift. Job done, lower lift, car returns to mother earth, door remains hanging from the top of the lift...
Also didn't spend three hours and flatten 5 batteries trying to get a Porsche 924 to start after swapping an engine into a new shell. Eventually remembered i'd forgotten to put any petrol in it. Strangely fired straight away when i put some in...
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Escort Mk1 1300E – SOLD! Escort Mk2 Trials Car – SOLD! Porsche 924 Jaguar XJ6 4.0 Sovereign – GIVEN TO DAD! LDV Pilot Campervan – SOLD! VW Polo Mk2
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Jan 28, 2008 21:30:32 GMT
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Like taking the intercooler hard pipes of the saab 900 to flush out the accumulated breathed oil from the PCV on a Sunday.
Then putting them back on "securely", having a smoke, then going in for a brew.
Then Monday morning, temps upto normal, short stretch of dual carriageway and a TT not playing properly, so I boot it past. get alongside, hear a bang, see a cloud of black smoke out the exhaust and absolutley no go. "oh boops" thinks I, seeing the pounds drain as it coughs and splutters back in behind the TT and into a bus stop.
Then I have to try and re-attach the blown of intercooler pipe that was letting air and messing the fueling and try to not remove skin from the intercooler while tightening the jubilee clip properly this time. No never done such a thing.
Still, caught the TT 10 minutes later.
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spacekadett
Part of things
F*cking take that Hans Brrix!!
Posts: 818
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Jan 28, 2008 21:59:44 GMT
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Had a high top LT van on the ramp at work and didn't realise when I'd taken the engine cover off I'd knocked it into gear. The security bar had also been removed from said ramp (god knows why : so muggins just leans in to fire it up. Typically the f*cker starts instantly and drives off the ramp straight into the post and control box of our other ramp Slightly dislodged the post and the ramps oil tank needed reshaping slightly with an adjusting tool! Fortunately van owner was alright about it. A chap round the back of the garage was made to repair the Astra G van he had carelessly driven into the back of an XJS (at about 60 mph) as a kind of punishment. Anyway he'd hit it hard enough to knacker the injector pump and throw the belt off, so the engine was in bits. he was just finishing off and refitting the hoses when he mistakenly fitted the rad hose onto the intercooler Then filled it with water and wondered why it wouldn't turn over.
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Mechanic's rule #1... If the car works, anything left on the floor after you finished wasn't needed in the first place
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moron mechanics...rustingdeathtrap
@GUEST
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Jan 28, 2008 22:00:07 GMT
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I really havent got time to list all my balls ups from over the years, but a few of the biggest;
Changed a head gasket and forgot to tighten the camshaft sprocket. Went for a road test, got a mile up the road and engine makes a teminal noise and dies. Got out, took off the oil cap and looked inside to see the camshaft in broken in three pieces. Then had to phone the boss, tell him what i'd done and ask him if he'd please come and tow me back to the workshop please ;D
Doing a service on a van, took the ramp up to drain the oil, fetched the oil drainer, and, realising it was full went to empty it. Got called away to do another job then it was tea time and by the time got back onto the service i completly forgot i hadnt drained the oil out. Changed the oil filter, stuck 9 1/2 litres of clean oil in and took it for a road test. Got to the end of the road and the engine starts racing and loads of black smoke belching out the back. Managed to shut it down by stalling it in fith gear, another sheepish phone call, and a tow back to the yard. Had to drain all the oil out, clean out the intercooler and inlet manifold then drive it around for an hour to burn all the oil out the exhaust before the customer got back to pick it up at 5 oclock.
Spent a whole day once tracing a wiring fault which turned out to be a fuse which hadnt visably blown but had no continuity over it. I learnt an important lesson that day about the value of continuity tester.
One thing i always tell apprentices and a rule i've always lived by at work is, when you make a mistake, no matter how big or embarresing, always own up to it straight away and take responsibillity for it. That way its easier to sort it out, people will always be on your side if you can admit that your in the wrong and your more likley to learn from it. I've worked with people in the past who are totally ignorant of there mistakes and live in denial of them and, guess what, they keep on making the same mistakes.
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harris66
Part of things
drive it, break it, fix it and make it quicker!
Posts: 699
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Jan 28, 2008 22:12:09 GMT
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1980 something, not long after passing my test, was out in dads plymouth cricket {left hand drive avenger} and ran out of fuel, in the boot was a castrol gtx 5litre oil can, full of what i thort was petrol, was clear, smelt like petrol......put it in the tank, car still wouldnt start.......phoned dad and he explained how he,d used the fuel he,d kept in said castrol can, and filled it with water as the rad had developed a leak. whoops ;D
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1.2 corsa daily, 1.8t a4 avante, 6.3ltr austin a40....
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Jan 28, 2008 22:32:24 GMT
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was changing the glow plugs on a Fiat Multipla (curse word of a job, access is........limited, shall we say? I dropped one of the plugs down the back of the engine, and never saw it again. 3 people passed hours with torches, wee mirrors, a magnet on a stick etc etc but we never did find it. I assume it got lodged on a bit of loom or something.
Changing the stem seals on my CVH engined orion, I was using the wee spring compressor tool and doing it with the head on the car. I was using a metal pair of tweezers to place the collets on the valve but they slipped out of my oily hands and dissappeared down one of the oil drain holes into the engine. Never saw them again either, but the car ran fine once I finished. I assume they fell right down into the sump.
Put the template showing where to cut the bumper on a customers new Volvo into place to fit a towbar, I read the instructions wrong and fitted it back to front, meaning the hole for the electric sockets was on the wrong side. New bumper required.
not me, but a colleague left a merc 190 auto in reverse with the handbrake on just tight enough to stop it creeping. he was fiddling under the bonnet and revved the engine. It shot backwards smashing through the closed garage bay door, across the carpark and redesigned the side of a brand new daewoo matiz that was parked in the yard.
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1986 Panda 4x4. 1990 Metro Sport. 1999 Ford Escort estate.
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Jan 28, 2008 23:20:50 GMT
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One of the guys i work with used to have a Carlton Dual ram air thingy,anyway it starts to blow its down pipe.So he goes around all the usual tyre places and finds "Kwik Fit" to be the cheapest.So he waits gets it fitted and pays his money and gets halfway home to find it banging and clunking away under the car,so he turns around and goes back.He walks into the workshop area and talks to this 16 year-old with "Exhaust expert" writen on his overalls and explains the problem."no problem sir put it on the ramp and i'll have a look" said 16 year old lifts the car up and grabs the now very hot exhaust with a very loud Hissing noise coming from his hand as he grabbed it. Once tidied my boot up in my 1275 GT and removed an "unnessesary" rubber gromet from around my battery cable,only to find smoke billowing from the back of the car 2 weeks later.
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Jan 28, 2008 23:29:26 GMT
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and I would NEVER replace an exhaust manifold and downpipe on a mk1 golf, fit a nice new gasket and copper bolts, then go for a nice long test drive to see if all is well, then pull over and check if the red hot bolts are more than finger tight...... woops. I once took the Mondeo for a MoT, where it failed on emissions - most likely the lambda sensor. 30 minutes to go till they take the last test, I whizzed over to the scrapper, bought a sensor for a tenner, nailed it back to the test centre, popped the bonnet and thought "brill, I'll just swap it here". Couldn't really see where the sensor was so just felt my way down the exhaust manifold..... Sometimes, lack of thought hurts man, thats all I can add.
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moron mechanics...austin1750maxi
@GUEST
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1990. A friend with a mk4 2.0s cortina checks oil/water before a long drive. Car catches fire 5 miles from home-left oily rag on engine and it drops on manifold . 1984 Y.T.S Trainee pushes a Reliant three wheeler over the pit at mann egerton Loughborough ;D ;D
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Last Edit: Jan 29, 2008 0:45:10 GMT by austin1750maxi
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Imp race engine sucks valve at event causing hole in piston. After event, remove engine and dissassemble, sticking manifold and other good remains on shelf. Two months later use 'good' manifold on good road engine. Start engine... oops. Remove head to find the remains of the race engine in the holes in the top of the road engines pistons.
Lesson on cleaning good/used parts.... priceless
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dubzi
Part of things
Posts: 711
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like the time I picked up my first bug after having some work, driving down the road and finding hed only put one of the bolts on a rear wheel I bought a Y reg Scirocco around 10 yrs ago. When I took it for a test drive there was a clonking from the front wheels when turning. Knocked him right down on price as I thought the CV joints were knackered. Checked the wheelnuts when I'd driven it away and the fronts weren't done up properly. Nothing wrong with the CV joints, result! Of course you'd never catch me returning from an MOT with my Range Rover and having a bloke get out of the car behind, knock on my window and say "are those yours" pointing at 4 wheelnuts rolling down the road! Because I always torque them up properly after the wheels have been off. Always
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Happiness ain't at the end of the road. Happiness is the road.
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Some great stories on here, glad i´m not alone.
Dropped loads of bollöcks over the years. One that springs to mind, my XR3 had a phase when it was starting reluctantly. Starter kept jamming and as i didn´t have any money for a new one used the hammer method for a while..
Once at work i´d unlatched the bonnet in preparation for knocking off because as it was raining i wanted to do the "hit the starter quick before you got wet"
Well a couple of hours later jumped in the car and it started for a change...so i drove off, as you do.
I think i got about half a mile down the road before the bonnet flew open and glued itself to the windscreen! Bonnet fooked, windscreen too, and a nice big dent in the roof!
Or when you do an oilchange on a Merc and wonder why the 7 liters of oil will not fit into the old 5 liter oiltray you´ve put underneath it.... ;D
yep, curse word definately happens.....!
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