friday, 11th may, setting off approx 11pm, in this:
sorry, this! :
and a skite to the ferry in larne for 4am.
ok, so we didnt set off at 11, i left the house at 5, met the wannabe other half [cuz she would miss me no doubt
), went to mates house for 12ish, looked for his keys until 1.30, then left... and this is the point at which i introduce you to Jonny. Jonny is quuite insane, and worringly for all shares a bad sense of humour with me...
stopped in lorry park in larne for a tad of rally-slag action...
LOL!
on the ferry we are surrounded by culchies. culchies, for those who do not come from the areas of land where you can see grass, is a fairly derogatory term for bumpkin-folk. a favourite pastime of these types is going round in circles in old RWD vee-hikkels. such nonsense!
so, we reckon this is reason enough to ask eneryone in sight - whilst putting on a real quizzical expression - "Does sha diff hi?" [sidenotes: 'diff' is slang for doing, erm, circles; and 'hi' is a colloquial term used in Ballymena/Cullybackey, the fatherland of culchies, as the end to every sentence, thereby reducing the wear on full stops.]
also, dressed in full combats for the first part of the trip, we did look slightly like on leave grenadiers lol. one conversation went like so:
mumpkin: its a querr [not typo] night hi
jonny: sure is.
trumpkin: whatch'as doin hi?
me: driving down to a car show in engerlund [not typo]
schlumpkin: thats a querr good plan hi!
jonny, me: thanks dood [not typo]
moronmpkin: i leek yer trousers *points at my combats* hi *giggles*
riiiiiight...
so, 2 proplus, 2 hour ferry, and 2 cds later we were far enough into scotland to see a lorry park.
off we go again, see we had LOADS of time to spare so took it easy. not easy enough to avoid a nice slidey tyre squealey stoppey action when this was sighted a little way off the road:
and it had a friend!!
onwards and downwards! was tootling along, 90odd miles into schotland saw a signpost i couldnt resist. followed a few weird signposts and got to a VERY disappointing village.
now, much as jonny and i adore each other, we decided it wasn't really time to take this step and we went on with our trip...
so, we made it to carlisle. at about 9am or so, given all the breaks. btw, i must profess, on the friday i had installed two rather awesome subs and we spent much of saturday morning driving through scottish towns at 30mp, windows down, blaring out moscow symphony orchestra's finest, at 6am. whilst dressed in fatiguuues, me with a commie army cap, and him with a furry siberian hat thing, which i decided was called a tarka.
carlisle revealed a couple of niceties.
as did the next services.
and the next services.
and the outskirts of manchester!
so, why did i dare encroach a huge, scary city which i've been to once and never wanted to endure again, especially in automotive mode?
BECAUSE, how else do you get yourself free body panels in 100% minty fresh orbit sugarfree variety?
of course, i totally forgot what panels they were. good plan dood, your hatch will no doubt swallow these JUST FINE.
leaving the greater manchester was a disaster. signs? who needs that guff? so here we go, ratchet strap holding down a very noisy boot area, totally lost...
AA routeplanner says do this, do that. throw that away, and get the map out. now, the RAC routeplanner said "get back on the ferry, and go larne to fleetwood ferry, as fastest way to manchester, so the AA was best available lol!) we headed the wrong way, got onto a motorway and just followed that until we got to leeds. cue lots of lane changing, lots of odd looks at the car, and lots of shouting 'DOES SHE DIFF' at every passing BMW
heres a rock we went past.
and jonny likes POWAH!!
we got near leeds, and got lost again. we had aimed about three times in one day to hit the a1(M) and kept missing. i threw the AA plans away in disgust, and made my own route, rather more entertaining at that. so off we went through all the yokel towns.
we stopped in one after a couple of hours driving, looking for a shop that did a) drink and b) tobacco. now neither of us smoke, and i don't drink, but thats not the point. jonny needed a rollie, and we had just spent 2 hours deciding jsut what to say to the unsuspecting vendor.
same quizzical expression, which jonny has modelled above ever so well, saying "Do ye have any wiiiiine?" [now wine, when said in culchie speak, means buckfast. which is awful, but good if you are a culchie or a spide.]
and thereafter we would repeat said question, "wiine! do ye not have no wiine?!" "sorry mayte, what?" "wiiine! frickin wiiine! were ye's not educated?" "i have poart, chardonnaay..." "WIIINE MAN!" and start twitching...
well anyway, hey didnt take NI money, so we left in disgust!
you prolly gotta be from here to understand, sorry folks
that was i think corby. i hate corby. the signs to get out point one direction. at the other side of town they point the opposite way. like that randall and hopkirk episode where they are stuck in a village like forever.
IT HAD A SPOT!
huzzah. we finally made it. oh, should i tell you, that when my fav gets hot, on the overrun, the exhaust pops and bangs, and it stalls at junctions
cue going through towns with music again triumphant, added to revving and backing off in third all the way just to backfire up main streets
and finally arrived at rutland camping site. not as nice patron as there were last year
part of the reason i was looking forward to the same site.
anyway, tents are for losers, wimps, and people with time. we are none of the above, hence i didnt fork out the tenner before staff discount and get a tent, i brought my mums gazebo. plan.
3 minutes to unzip bag, stand up, pull back. previously acquired panels now came in useful. now we had a window and a back wall
and we sauntered in the general direction of the local, where we chatted up a local or two (or not...) scared a few people by sitting in the corner over coke that looked like guinness, talking quietly in irish accents, still in our fatigues (although thankfully minus hats!)
i then proceeded to beat jonny at pool and darts, then we went for an early night.
oh and his obsessive compulsive GF rang for like the 312th time as we walked back, just to make sure he hadnt done anything or got hurt or anything AT ALL since she phoned a good 22 minutes earlier, etc...
went back to our hovel, talked about how we detest our other halves so (no, like actually!) and fell asleep. trip half done, thanks for your time so far!
sorry, this! :
and a skite to the ferry in larne for 4am.
ok, so we didnt set off at 11, i left the house at 5, met the wannabe other half [cuz she would miss me no doubt
), went to mates house for 12ish, looked for his keys until 1.30, then left... and this is the point at which i introduce you to Jonny. Jonny is quuite insane, and worringly for all shares a bad sense of humour with me...stopped in lorry park in larne for a tad of rally-slag action...
LOL!
on the ferry we are surrounded by culchies. culchies, for those who do not come from the areas of land where you can see grass, is a fairly derogatory term for bumpkin-folk. a favourite pastime of these types is going round in circles in old RWD vee-hikkels. such nonsense!
so, we reckon this is reason enough to ask eneryone in sight - whilst putting on a real quizzical expression - "Does sha diff hi?" [sidenotes: 'diff' is slang for doing, erm, circles; and 'hi' is a colloquial term used in Ballymena/Cullybackey, the fatherland of culchies, as the end to every sentence, thereby reducing the wear on full stops.]
also, dressed in full combats for the first part of the trip, we did look slightly like on leave grenadiers lol. one conversation went like so:
mumpkin: its a querr [not typo] night hi
jonny: sure is.
trumpkin: whatch'as doin hi?
me: driving down to a car show in engerlund [not typo]
schlumpkin: thats a querr good plan hi!
jonny, me: thanks dood [not typo]
moronmpkin: i leek yer trousers *points at my combats* hi *giggles*
riiiiiight...
so, 2 proplus, 2 hour ferry, and 2 cds later we were far enough into scotland to see a lorry park.
off we go again, see we had LOADS of time to spare so took it easy. not easy enough to avoid a nice slidey tyre squealey stoppey action when this was sighted a little way off the road:
and it had a friend!!
onwards and downwards! was tootling along, 90odd miles into schotland saw a signpost i couldnt resist. followed a few weird signposts and got to a VERY disappointing village.
now, much as jonny and i adore each other, we decided it wasn't really time to take this step and we went on with our trip...
so, we made it to carlisle. at about 9am or so, given all the breaks. btw, i must profess, on the friday i had installed two rather awesome subs and we spent much of saturday morning driving through scottish towns at 30mp, windows down, blaring out moscow symphony orchestra's finest, at 6am. whilst dressed in fatiguuues, me with a commie army cap, and him with a furry siberian hat thing, which i decided was called a tarka.
carlisle revealed a couple of niceties.
as did the next services.
and the next services.
and the outskirts of manchester!
so, why did i dare encroach a huge, scary city which i've been to once and never wanted to endure again, especially in automotive mode?
BECAUSE, how else do you get yourself free body panels in 100% minty fresh orbit sugarfree variety?
of course, i totally forgot what panels they were. good plan dood, your hatch will no doubt swallow these JUST FINE.
leaving the greater manchester was a disaster. signs? who needs that guff? so here we go, ratchet strap holding down a very noisy boot area, totally lost...
AA routeplanner says do this, do that. throw that away, and get the map out. now, the RAC routeplanner said "get back on the ferry, and go larne to fleetwood ferry, as fastest way to manchester, so the AA was best available lol!) we headed the wrong way, got onto a motorway and just followed that until we got to leeds. cue lots of lane changing, lots of odd looks at the car, and lots of shouting 'DOES SHE DIFF' at every passing BMW
heres a rock we went past.
and jonny likes POWAH!!
we got near leeds, and got lost again. we had aimed about three times in one day to hit the a1(M) and kept missing. i threw the AA plans away in disgust, and made my own route, rather more entertaining at that. so off we went through all the yokel towns.
we stopped in one after a couple of hours driving, looking for a shop that did a) drink and b) tobacco. now neither of us smoke, and i don't drink, but thats not the point. jonny needed a rollie, and we had just spent 2 hours deciding jsut what to say to the unsuspecting vendor.
same quizzical expression, which jonny has modelled above ever so well, saying "Do ye have any wiiiiine?" [now wine, when said in culchie speak, means buckfast. which is awful, but good if you are a culchie or a spide.]
and thereafter we would repeat said question, "wiine! do ye not have no wiine?!" "sorry mayte, what?" "wiiine! frickin wiiine! were ye's not educated?" "i have poart, chardonnaay..." "WIIINE MAN!" and start twitching...
well anyway, hey didnt take NI money, so we left in disgust!
you prolly gotta be from here to understand, sorry folks
that was i think corby. i hate corby. the signs to get out point one direction. at the other side of town they point the opposite way. like that randall and hopkirk episode where they are stuck in a village like forever.
IT HAD A SPOT!
huzzah. we finally made it. oh, should i tell you, that when my fav gets hot, on the overrun, the exhaust pops and bangs, and it stalls at junctions
cue going through towns with music again triumphant, added to revving and backing off in third all the way just to backfire up main streets
and finally arrived at rutland camping site. not as nice patron as there were last year
part of the reason i was looking forward to the same site.anyway, tents are for losers, wimps, and people with time. we are none of the above, hence i didnt fork out the tenner before staff discount and get a tent, i brought my mums gazebo. plan.
3 minutes to unzip bag, stand up, pull back. previously acquired panels now came in useful. now we had a window and a back wall
and we sauntered in the general direction of the local, where we chatted up a local or two (or not...) scared a few people by sitting in the corner over coke that looked like guinness, talking quietly in irish accents, still in our fatigues (although thankfully minus hats!)
i then proceeded to beat jonny at pool and darts, then we went for an early night.
oh and his obsessive compulsive GF rang for like the 312th time as we walked back, just to make sure he hadnt done anything or got hurt or anything AT ALL since she phoned a good 22 minutes earlier, etc...
went back to our hovel, talked about how we detest our other halves so (no, like actually!) and fell asleep. trip half done, thanks for your time so far!
