MK2VR6
Posted a lot
Mk2 Golf GTi 90 Spec
Posts: 3,328
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Feb 23, 2014 19:09:06 GMT
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After reading about VA's oil drainage mishaps, it reminded me of two brilliant cock ups I have experienced when changing my car oil over the years. I thought I'd share and see if others have any cock up of note to share. Tenuous link photos would be good too. My two oil related disasters: Cock up 1. Oil change on my '77 mk1 Golf - my first car when I was 17. I removed the oil filter (located on the front of the block) with the car parked in my parents garage. Time was ticking on, so I decided to leave the car as it was and drop the oil with the car parked in situ the next day. The next day arrived, I forgot I had removed the filter and I decided to fire up the old girl, reverse her up the (steepish) drive and aim for the road (level-ish) to do my work, due to more space. It was only when I was almost at the top of the drive when I clocked the thick, black oil slick trailed from the garage, all the way up the squeaky clean cement. Needless to say, panic ensued with surprisingly patient and rational father helping me for the next hour and a half to throw down sand and cat litter and then scrub the hell out of it with Jeyes fluid. Cock up 2. I successfully completed an oil change in the road on my fiancee's '97 mk3 Golf tdi back in the late 00's. It went swimmingly well, in fact. All she had to do, was, as instructed, reverse the car back from my tools and oil can still on the road in front of the car and park it out of the way on the drive. Instead she chose to not listen to my instructions, drive forwards instead, straight over the oil can, explode the curse word (one of those proper plastic drain tray things with a lid to seal it up to transport it), and then trail the black slick up the road thanks to the oil now stuck to her front and back nearside tyres. I was emotional, I've gotta say. Until that point, it was probably the most seamless, quickest oil change I'd ever done. Have a random messy photo, vaguely linked to the crimes. God cares for you.  Anyone else? |
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andyborris
Posted a lot
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.
Posts: 2,165
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Feb 23, 2014 19:14:19 GMT
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My party trick is dropping the sump plug into the drain can as the hot oil flows into it.
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Feb 23, 2014 19:30:02 GMT
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a guy i used to work with was giving a Y.T kid a lecture on changing oil. it sounded like all was going well from where i was working, until it came to filling it back up. i heard the young lad say....
"is the oil meant to be coming out onto the floor?"
it would appear the sump plug was still on the workbench when the oil started going back in!
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stealthstylz
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 14,842
Club RR Member Number: 174
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Feb 23, 2014 19:31:30 GMT
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A customer once turned up at work whilst I was out (buying oil lol) and proceeded to use their spare key to get in and start the car "to keep warm" which had no oil in (hence why I was going to the shop). Seized a 2 year old Quashquai motor solid. Customer tried to blame me but I pointed out that as it was on ramps with the bonnet up, the oil cap on the inner wing and a big tub of old oil on the floor next to the car he maybe should have assumed it was still being worked on.
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bl1300
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,678
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Feb 23, 2014 19:31:56 GMT
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I came home a few weeks back and noticed a fair slick under the discovery coming from a rust hole in the sump. I dutifully changed into overalls (thank god) and dropped the remainder of the oil to repair the sump. Anyway picked up the full drain tray and put it up on a low wall out of the way. In the 1hr or so it took the chemical metal patch to cure (I later changed the sump but needed the car so bodged it in the first instance)the wind started to get up and by the time I'm pouring some fresh oil into the engine its rather strong, strong enough in fact to catch the oil tray behind me and blow it into the back of my head. The net result was me covered from head to foot in used engine oil as well as well as the whole of the front of the car and a substantial amount of the engine bay covered in it as well. That took a lot of cleaning up.
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Current fleet.
1967 DAF 44
1974 VW Beetle 1303s
1975 Triumph Spitfire MkIV
1988 VW LT45 Beavertail
1998 Volvo V70 2.5
1959 Fordson Dexta
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Feb 23, 2014 19:36:24 GMT
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A particularly cock-up morning: Moved van to jump-start the Scimitar. Van door slammed on my fingers. Throb  Scimitar won't start anyway. Service van. Job done. Drive 3 tonne van over 5litre oil canister, still with some fresh oil in. Canister explodes, sprays oil over the drive. Pour car shampoo over the oil to help wash it away. Go to hose it off, hose union comes off spraying water right in my face. Swear loudly and profusely within earshot of my polite neighbour. |
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Feb 23, 2014 19:46:05 GMT
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1. Help friend to change sticking starter motor on his Mk2 Polo Breadvan 2. Put Polo on ramps (forget to unplug battery) 3. Start removing current starter motor bolts whilst underneath 4. Using long spanner, touch the spanner between starter motor solenoid and bodywork 5. Proceed to get mildly shocked, starter motor detaches itself from engine, falls onto hand and then bounces back into face in the space of 3 seconds 6. Try to work out what just happened and remove earth cable from battery The Polo was the red one in this picture  |
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awoo
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,505
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Feb 23, 2014 19:53:46 GMT
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was driving to university, running a bit late. crashed into a canal.
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jmsheahan
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 682
Club RR Member Number: 121
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Feb 23, 2014 19:56:32 GMT
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A recentish one was on my 306 derv daily.
Lift pump was dying so purchased a new one to fit at weekend. Next morning I went to go to work and it was completely dead. Quick swap in under 20 mins and I was on my way to work on time feeling a little smug...
That was until the evening when I filled up with diesel and noticed it was curse word all over the garage forecourt due to me not tightening the locking lug enough! Fixed it pronto, got covered in diesel so went home and chucked jeans straight in the wash. Unfortunately I threw the jeans in complete with car keys in pocket knackering the transponder in the process.
Fun day haha.
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Feb 23, 2014 20:13:13 GMT
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Cock up morning for me: SWMBO takes fiesta to work one frosty morning. Shogun has no battery. I jump in L200 to find battery flat. As I live at the top of a hill I decide to bump start it after a shove to get it rolling. only it's so frosty the rear wheels just keep locking. Ends up at the bottom of the hill blocking the entrance to the primary school! No problem. Run up to house,realise jump leads are in fiesta so grab tow rope and Toledo to recover L200. Attach everything up, but find the street is suddenly empty with nobody around to help:-( Spend 10 mins swapping between Toledo and L200 towing it by myself in a shower of frost induced wheelspin. Eventually get about 25m up the hill when the torque convertor in the Toledo decides it's had enough. Unhook L200 and manage to roll it onto side street and park it. Let Toledo roll back and park it behind L200. Run back to house. Get Courier key. Take that to work running very late, forget the reason I wasn't going to use it that day was coz it had no fuel. Inevitably run out of fuel at work! Have to get colleague to give me lift to petrol station, then help me tow L200 and Toledo back to house using Courier. Still putting up with jokes about how even with 5 cars I had to scrounge a lift lol :-)  |
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Last Edit: Feb 23, 2014 20:15:06 GMT by bigalan
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89 Masterace Surf
03 Astra
03 V40 Sport
09 E90 M Sport
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duncanmartin
Club Retro Rides Member
Out of retro ownership
Posts: 1,320
Club RR Member Number: 70
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Feb 23, 2014 21:47:21 GMT
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My first car was a square style Micra. I wanted to change the engine oil, so I got it into the air, undid a sump plug and drained the oil. I changed the filter (surprised at how much oil came out of it, put the sump plug in and refilled it. I was kinda surprised that it only took a litre or so, but didn't know any better, so I put it on the ground and drove it the length of the M4 to my new job. The next day it was making an awful racket whenever I put it into gear. Much head scratching. Check Haynes manual. Discover I drained the gearbox oil, not the engine oil!
I filled up the gearbox the next day, and it did another 12000 miles before the gearbox died!
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g40jon
Posted a lot
Posts: 2,569
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Feb 23, 2014 22:28:12 GMT
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My worst cock-up was doing an oil change also. The oil change went fine on the car, no probs there! I had drained the old oil into an old coolant bottle with the side cut out of it. (the idea being that you could then remove the screw top to pour it into an old oil bottle to dispose of it) Problems started when I forgot that I had cut the side out of the coolant bottle and picked it up by the handle! OIL FAIL!!!
My other big fail was rebuilding my polos supercharger and somehow missing an oil seal, which resulting in a pretty savage oil leak! thankfully I spotted my fail and put it right before any harm came to the engine or charger!
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Feb 23, 2014 22:49:33 GMT
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Put the oil pans in place before undoing the sump plug. Move one of the pans out of the way so you can get to the sump plug. Forget to put the oil pan back where it needed to be. Oops.  Not my cock up, but one of my Dad's. When we'd redone the head gasket on the same car he insisted that the leads went back on the plugs in a particular order but the car wouldn't start. Queue him stubbornly towing the car with my brother at the helm around the estate to the sound of some pretty impressive backfires and no starting. Opened the bonnet, put the leads the way around that my brother and I said was correct and the car ran without any issue. Silly parental unit, have you learned nothing from what you've taught your two mini-mes over the years? |
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Feb 23, 2014 23:24:52 GMT
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Recently cut the side out of a 5L oil bottle after reading the oil level in Renault should be 4.4L.
Crackled sump plug and let it drain, filling up pretty fast, starts getting very close to the top but I leave it thinking it must be nearly done.
It's like a water fountain, went absolutely everywhere.
To make matters worse it was also a complete b@stard to drain the brimmed 5L bottle, as just moving it slightly caused a tidal wave of oil over the side.
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1966 MK1 Cortina
1971 Hillman Super Imp
1985 Volvo 360 GLEi
1986 Volvo 340 1.7
1990 Mercedes 190e 2.0
1993 Peugeot 205 STDT
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will
Posted a lot
Posts: 4,023
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When we should of been in school me and some pals were standing around a mini one of had procured pretending to know what we were doing whilst topping up the low oil. After dumping 5 ltr's in the motor plus an extra 1 ltr found in the boot we were still not getting a reading on the dipper. It was sometime after this point that we noticed we were standing in a puddle of oil which had apparently drained through the cracked sump. Naturally this did not stop us from ragging the living daylights out of it still and the poor 850 auto died from a lack of skill/wall interface rather than a lack of oil in the end.
Please excuse this sorry tail as we were 14 at the time and my pal had bought the car with no brakes other than the hand brake!
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mikeymk
Part of things
'85 Polo Coupe S 1.6 16v
Posts: 931
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I built the bottom end up to my chosen specification, bolted the gearbox to it, slid it under the car and lifted it into place. All bolted up, that would do for today.
Next day, and I go about putting the cylinder head on, now the engine is in the car (This has been my preferred method with these cars). So i'm laying the head gasket on when suddenly I notice something - one of the pistons is the wrong way around.
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djefk
Part of things
Posts: 844
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My first car was a square style Micra. I wanted to change the engine oil, so I got it into the air, undid a sump plug and drained the oil. I changed the filter (surprised at how much oil came out of it, put the sump plug in and refilled it. I was kinda surprised that it only took a litre or so, but didn't know any better, so I put it on the ground and drove it the length of the M4 to my new job. The next day it was making an awful racket whenever I put it into gear. Much head scratching. Check Haynes manual. Discover I drained the gearbox oil, not the engine oil! I filled up the gearbox the next day, and it did another 12000 miles before the gearbox died! Duncan I completely sympathise, there's defo something about the gearbox drain plug on that shape Micra looking like / being located where you'd expect the engine sump plug to be! I have a very similar tale, except in my case I just sloshed in the correct amount of oil for a full change without consulting the dipstick, so now there was twice as much oil as there should have been in the engine and none in the gearbox.... To compound matters, I did this as "a favour" for a girl at uni, she then proceeded to drive from Coventry to Leicester and back! The gearbox always made weird noises once the problem was found and corrected, but to its credit it never failed afterwards (well, to my knowledge anyway!!) |
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ferny
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 984
Club RR Member Number: 13
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Reversing automatic car up a set of ramps. Right foot out of the door. Using left foot on accelerator. Get to the top of the ramps so touch the brake. Car speeds up. Touch brake harder. It's not the brake.  |
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mexicansteve
South West
Posts: 683 
Club RR Member Number: 31
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was driving to university, running a bit late. crashed into a canal. Didn't put my reading goggles on this morning and read that as "camel"....back to bed I reckon  |
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BeQuietandDrive
1989 Bedford Astra Van
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Feb 24, 2014 12:09:19 GMT
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I don't know if this is a cock-up or just ruddy bad luck...?!
Went to change the brake pads on the Toledo and used a (admittedly $h!t) bottle jack to get the old chap in the air...
First of all the bottle jack would not lift the car as I had not done the screw up tightly enough to keep the jack 'presurised'... Sorted this and then proceeded to start jacking again...
The same thing happened (or so I thought), the 'rod' would not go up it just won't lift the car...!!! So I went to pull the jack from out of the car only to find it won't move.
"Why is that?" I can hear you all cry... Well the jack WAS working, it just decided to go straight through my jacking point... That's what you get for rushing and forgetting to use a 'pad' to spread the weight...
DARN IT...!!! There is still a hole there by the way...
Maybe not an offical cock-up but I did feel like a bit of a cock nonetheless...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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***GARAGE CURRENTLY EMPTY***
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Scimitar won't start anyway.
