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Loving the offset on those wheels! I like 'em sticking out like that! I went to Halfords at the w/e to get an oil filter from my 3 series Beema. Not a hard request I thought. Looked it up in their little catalogue, check the shelf - none. Go to the counter "no we musn't have any then" - great how handy! Went to the local motor shop with the FRAM part number I got from the catalogue. The motor shop was a FRAM dealer but for some reason the 15 y/o kid couldn't get it to come up on their computer! Then 5 minutes later the penny dropped - "you might need to type PH in front of the number" I told him and what'd'ya know there it is!
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bryn
Posted a lot
Posts: 3,913
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Legendary spot ;D
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Volvo, Buggy, Discovery and an old tractor.
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bstardchild
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 14,945
Club RR Member Number: 71
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some of this thread is ringing true
7.59 dash - yeah spot on - normally for something they haven't got anyway
I only use one local motor factor and he's spot on - he's been doing parts sale work for as long as I can remember and If I say the word Monza he normally drags a few really old catalogues from under the counter and says to his spotty assistant "put the kettle on - this could take a while!"
He's not been beaten many times either....
Mind you last summer he rang me up to ask if I had a rotor arm for a Senator 12V/24V - he'd got a guy in the shop racing a V6 Alfa at snetterton just up the road and half way through the practice session he rotor had destroyed itself - I laughed and said I though you were the one supposed to have parts - Yeah course I have - I take it's a match to the Alfa one!!!
I nicked one of a car in my drive and the guy got some directions to my house and turned up 5mins later - sent him on his way with it - he offered money but I declined - pay it forward and all that......
Anyway BTT
Halfords are utter rubbish - they can't even get a rear brake light bulb right in the book for a 98 Polo
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You know, I've seen errors in the Halfords catalogue after I've gone in for a bulb, checked the number, paid, gone out to the car, opened the pack, removed the lamp lense, and found it looks nothing like what was there.
So I go back in, and they accuse me of having the wrong one fitted, and maybe that is why it doesn't work. I find the right one, tell them their book is wrong, and a different oik says " it is sometimes", then looks back down at his copy of razzle.
I asked if they sold boost gauges. "What is it for?". Stuffing up the arses of people who ask stupid questions of course.
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On t'bus home t'other night, I overheard two charvers talking...One said:
"y'narr...e'bodies got fockin' saxos n festers, riiight? Ahm gettin' meself one o' them old minis or beetles - proper old skool n ratro n that!"
...
RUN FOR THE HILLS!
*n
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Top grammar tips! Bought = purchased. Brought = relocated Lose = misplace/opposite of win. Loose = your mum
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On t'bus home t'other night, I overheard two charvers talking...One said: "y'narr...e'bodies got fockin' saxos n festers, riiight? Ahm gettin' meself one o' them old minis or beetles - proper old skool n ratro n that!" ... RUN FOR THE HILLS! *n were safe for now. those slack jawed fools probably wouldnt know how to drive one anyway. there is a certain "knack" to old cars
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bstardchild
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 14,945
Club RR Member Number: 71
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Apologies if posted before but sort of on topic!!!
1 . What do you call a chav in a box?
Innit.
2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
4. What do you call a chav on fire?
Blazin'
5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you looking' at?"
10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint go-faster stripes on it.
11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police
12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.
13. What do you say to a chav with a job?
Can I have a Big Mac please.
14. What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand
15. What do you call a knife in chav-ville?
Exhibit A
16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 5
17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.
18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, they'll screw anything.
19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.
20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."
21. Why did the chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash
22. Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
23. What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.
24. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins?
Society
25. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asks the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" The blonde Girl leans over the counter and says,
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
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