Here we are folks.
Get the beers out, pop open the family-sized pack of Doritos and read-up on what surely will be the hottest Retro Rides post of the month.
Welcome to Barney, the 1984 Austin Maestro HLE in Rattarsed Beige (sorry, Rattan Beige).
Barney is originally from Oxford. It was nicknamed Barney by its first owner - on account of its reg plate - who kept the car for 21 years (that's longer than many of you lot have been around). He ebayed it last Summer on the grounds that he had given up driving. It was bought by a young lad in Solihull to use as a cheap first car after passing his test. He sold it within a month because his girlfriend point-blankly refused to be seen dead in it. I know, some people just have no culture, do they? So he ebayed it again and it was bought by a lad I know from Bolton. He kept it until November then advertised it for sale again to make way for a restoration project that came his way. So that's when we bought it.
Barney is a 1984 Austin Maestro HLE. With the HLE, Austin Rover mated their tried and tested (=ancient) 1275cc A-series engine to the ultra-wide-ratio 4 speed 3+E gearbox from the VW Polo Formel E. This created, what their publicists at the time claimed to be, “a 60mpg miracle”. It even has an “econometer” (or “stinge-o-meter”, as I like to call it): this is a unit under the clock which displays a series of LEDs from green to red depending on how 'economical' your driving-style is. I'm surprised this day and age that they're not mandatory equipment
However what their publicists didn't say is that with the long-ratio gears mated to a 65bhp engine in a car weighing 915kg, acceleration is leisurely to say the least and getting the car up any slope or hill steeper than a speed-bump requires you to rev the nuts off it in third and pray for a strong following wind.
But those are its bad points. The good points are that it costs £89 a year to insure, £115 a year to tax (falling into the pre-2001 under 1549cc category), it has 5 doors, seats 5 in adequate comfort and cost me just £200 to buy. And did I mention it was beige – surely the new black?
Those photos were taken last Autumn by its previous owner. Having been used by my missis throughout Winter, it's fair to say that even with my careful maintenance the owd lad had suffered a bit and was looking sorry for himself by Spring this year.
So in April, taking a rash decision that many people here and elsewhere will say proves our total insanity, the 23 year old beige Maestro known as Barney was driven to a local bodyshop for a full restoration. Here are some WIP pics from the last few weeks there:
Much work is still to be completed, such a sandblasting and repainting the wheels, completing the doors, tailgate and bonnet and ultimately putting it all together again. However the transformation is unreal and I have to admit the bodyshop's work is exceptional. Their dedication to restoring this little beige beauty to its former self is admirable: I was round at there on Thursday and they were painting the doors in the spray booth at half eleven at night!
Work is drawing to an end on Barney, and if the guys there are really, really honest, I think they will admit to being sad to see the little beige blunderbuss go, as I feel he has become quite a talking point.
I will post some more pictures up for your delectation/mirth when the job is completed. After that, the car desparately needs a new exhaust as the one on it is shot like a pepper-pot, making the car sound either absolutely fantastic or completely knackered, depending on your point of view. Then there's a new speedo cable to fit because the racket it makes is unbearable and any speed above 50mph is guesswork. (Yes, it does get to 50mph. Eventually). Old cars eh? Who'd have em?
Get the beers out, pop open the family-sized pack of Doritos and read-up on what surely will be the hottest Retro Rides post of the month.
Welcome to Barney, the 1984 Austin Maestro HLE in Rattarsed Beige (sorry, Rattan Beige).
Barney is originally from Oxford. It was nicknamed Barney by its first owner - on account of its reg plate - who kept the car for 21 years (that's longer than many of you lot have been around). He ebayed it last Summer on the grounds that he had given up driving. It was bought by a young lad in Solihull to use as a cheap first car after passing his test. He sold it within a month because his girlfriend point-blankly refused to be seen dead in it. I know, some people just have no culture, do they? So he ebayed it again and it was bought by a lad I know from Bolton. He kept it until November then advertised it for sale again to make way for a restoration project that came his way. So that's when we bought it.
Barney is a 1984 Austin Maestro HLE. With the HLE, Austin Rover mated their tried and tested (=ancient) 1275cc A-series engine to the ultra-wide-ratio 4 speed 3+E gearbox from the VW Polo Formel E. This created, what their publicists at the time claimed to be, “a 60mpg miracle”. It even has an “econometer” (or “stinge-o-meter”, as I like to call it): this is a unit under the clock which displays a series of LEDs from green to red depending on how 'economical' your driving-style is. I'm surprised this day and age that they're not mandatory equipment
However what their publicists didn't say is that with the long-ratio gears mated to a 65bhp engine in a car weighing 915kg, acceleration is leisurely to say the least and getting the car up any slope or hill steeper than a speed-bump requires you to rev the nuts off it in third and pray for a strong following wind.
But those are its bad points. The good points are that it costs £89 a year to insure, £115 a year to tax (falling into the pre-2001 under 1549cc category), it has 5 doors, seats 5 in adequate comfort and cost me just £200 to buy. And did I mention it was beige – surely the new black?
Those photos were taken last Autumn by its previous owner. Having been used by my missis throughout Winter, it's fair to say that even with my careful maintenance the owd lad had suffered a bit and was looking sorry for himself by Spring this year.
So in April, taking a rash decision that many people here and elsewhere will say proves our total insanity, the 23 year old beige Maestro known as Barney was driven to a local bodyshop for a full restoration. Here are some WIP pics from the last few weeks there:
Much work is still to be completed, such a sandblasting and repainting the wheels, completing the doors, tailgate and bonnet and ultimately putting it all together again. However the transformation is unreal and I have to admit the bodyshop's work is exceptional. Their dedication to restoring this little beige beauty to its former self is admirable: I was round at there on Thursday and they were painting the doors in the spray booth at half eleven at night!
Work is drawing to an end on Barney, and if the guys there are really, really honest, I think they will admit to being sad to see the little beige blunderbuss go, as I feel he has become quite a talking point.
I will post some more pictures up for your delectation/mirth when the job is completed. After that, the car desparately needs a new exhaust as the one on it is shot like a pepper-pot, making the car sound either absolutely fantastic or completely knackered, depending on your point of view. Then there's a new speedo cable to fit because the racket it makes is unbearable and any speed above 50mph is guesswork. (Yes, it does get to 50mph. Eventually). Old cars eh? Who'd have em?
