Mental Health and the car enthusiast - help & support

I know the bottle very well.

You remind me of a time, pre-pandemic, I still owned that bloody Chrysler even, I was driving over to meet some mates for a "night out and crash at mine" type do with "the old gang" and I sat abot an hour in a layby half way there unable to drive on or even drive home. I went in the end. But sometimes theres a wall to get through just to do normal things...

In my case, after years of tablets and counselling, I had an epiphany that my problems were not something to be treated or cured.

They were part of who I was, no getting away from it. Instead it became a case of accepting the more harmless elements, and developing strategies to either work around or avoid situations that brought about some of the more troublesome quirks. I am depply indebted to the counsellor that led me down this path and the wonderfully supportive Mrs BritBrick has been amazing in helping with this, and she does shield me from certain triggers.

This is good and has made life so much more chilled and relaxed. This is very good because being near on six-four and weighing 20 stone my natural instinct isn't flight, but rather fight. Once triggered I would dig my heels in and face down the problem, which many w*****s quite frankly deserved but it was not only inappropriate it was hugely upsetting for me afterwards because that isn't me, and one day it stood a good chance of getting me in trouble.

With this new awareness I'm not 'cured' and never will be. Its a case of recognising and managing things to avoid the worst of the problems. The one counsellor that took me down that path salvaged my happiness.

I still dislike crowds, I still dislike social situations with lots of people I don't know. I still struggle if my routine is disrupted. But you know what - none of that really matters once you've become comfortable with that simp,y being you you are. Mrs BritBrick helps me push the boundaries a little with these things, just enough to be good for me but not enough to get me unduly anxious and set me off. Some proper guidance from a psychiatric professional with a pragmatic approach and the support of a loving and caring partner is what it took for me.

I'm not cured, there is no cure for being who you are, but have now come to terms with thi gs hand have coping strategies that get me by pretty well. Life is now pretty good as a result. Ocasionally things are still disproportionately upsetting, but we work through them.

Again a lot of personal happenings that can relate to others. My case its not myself but Mrs Quasimoto who was medically misdiagnosed through a medical miscalculation leaving her hooked on prescription drugs and everything that entails with many traits and symptoms like mentioned by many RR members in this thread. This issue without medical training or even understanding the issues faced daily make the whole scenario scary at times to deal with. Doctors who start it all off do not claim responsibilty whilst my efforts to get local mental health team on board was compounded by long waiting lists after covid, staff shortages and other issues only known to them.
I had to take the bull by the horn to try and get Mrs Quasimoto feeling better, wanting to go out and like was mentioned passing a venue a few times but returning home in a panic. I try and deal with all this but then as my thread on here Retro Pensioner goes into a little more detail being over 70, unable to get a loan, relatives caught in cost of living crisis and myself desperate to do anything within my power to get my wife out from what has become four walls day in day out and car scrapped have had to resort to Just Giving to try and fund the car situation / going out onwards towards a better life even just a little whilst i try to convince doctors i need help not for myself but with the daily ongoing situation whilst only cars has saved me I'm sure and being positive when often the opposite is true. So yes us car enthusiasts have if married or have a partner got the added issue of caring for them whilst holding a balance on our own mental health. My Just Giving:
www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/geoffrey-bellamyopenroadproject
My case is probably far from being the only one out there and its coming to something that in retirement you are battling for justice from a doctor miscalculation / diagnosis.
I am heartened to continue reading different angles and aspects of this situation and all of us now know we are not alone thanks to original op of this thread. Well done for opening this subject up to us all.

I've never been someone to plan a party or my own birthday, just wouldn't feel comfortable asking people to come and focus on me. I was scared of my shadow as a kid and maybe some part of me never grew up?

This is a wonderful thread - very therapeutic.

My problem has always been never thinking that I am good enough. I grew up with a very intelligent older brother, which of course led to an awful lot of expectation for me to achieve similarly high grades / exam results etc. This played havoc with my self-worth - I was NEVER as good in my parents' eyes, or my teachers'. It plagued me for most of my 51 years on this planet.

I have no issue talking to people, nor do I have problems in crowds - 60000 at Twickenham is no issue for me. My social skills are way better than my brother's, who has always been an introvert. I have done marvellous things in the past, being on the committee of the local Mini Club for several years in the 1990s. I have a project that I have done great things with over time (some good, some needing to be re-done) - and it's all done by me.

Yet somehow I still think, somewhat illogically, even when I have done something successfully, often in a way most people wouldn't have thought of, I think I haven't done it well enough. I am not too much of a perfectionist - that isn't the problem. It is my own self-doubt that's plagued me since the mid-70s. My main help for the project is a friend whose Mrs is very high risk to Covid, so he's not often out, which is awkward as he is my electrical guru - and I do not understand electrics at all. It's a sticking point for this project at the moment, and it's bugging me. Yet my self-doubt tells me that I will likely set the car on fire if I try to sort the wiring myself... 

I will get there with the project. It's just going to take a bit of time and convincing myself.

That's a big load to carry for anyone. You managed to come through an awful lot so well done. Those of us with partners are fortunate imho as I would hate to be alone when in a dark space. Your words are a reminder to thank & acknowledge those like our partners who understand and indeed stand by us during tough times. In total contrast to my first wife, my better half of over 20 years is indeed an angel who fully "gets it". I'm grateful

No, our pub is located in Hoorn, but nevertheless, always welcome. I'm not much of a talker, but i try to find solutions. We'll manage i guess, but it's hard at times.
I try to do more stuff out of the house, like coffee in the morning, or taking a walk or just a drive.
And try to leave the whibblepoo phone at home.... man i hate that thing with all my heart...

And then some.