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May 10, 2018 12:48:11 GMT
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I guess part of me is hoping that by sticking this down on record it somehow interferes with his prophecy.
I have a fire extinguisher but I'm going to go and buy a new one this weekend. The current one is more than two years old.
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May 10, 2018 12:51:46 GMT
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The next time you see him at a family event, one where eating is occurring, say “I don’t know about knives mate, they’re really dangerous; you could get stabbed in the eye or anything. Much safer to use a spoon...” Then reach across and stab him in the eye. Ahahahahhaha that's brilliant. Honestly though, if one were to say to him "I don't know mate.... about using knives to eat... it could have someone's eye out" he would definitely go away and rethink his cutlery. He is literally that obsessed. He's not an anxious or nervous person though. That's the odd thing about him. He's pretty much the most laid back person ever, but underneath that laid back exterior there's a constant whirring sound of his health&safety radar system scanning the environment. |
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May 10, 2018 12:52:06 GMT
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That's certainly...interesting, may I suggest buying half a dozen fire extinguishers and getting 999 on speed dial...
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1982 Ford escort RS1600i Replica
1982 Ford escort 1600L
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May 10, 2018 13:04:41 GMT
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IS he a brother in law - or is he the ANTICHRIST!!!! Try to have a mirror near you next time - does he have a reflection? ps, invest in a fire extinguisher  He's actually a really nice bloke. That's the frustrating part. I don't feel I can tackle this with him because it would just be too awkward and he'd be hurt and upset. If he was a d*ck I'd have no qualms about telling him to STFU. From his perspective he's really just trying to show his interest and be friendly, so he'd be crushed to learn I consider him to be the angel of death for old cars. Unless I actually sit him down and say "look Mike, when you see people with old cars don't start speculating about the potential horrors. In fact, maybe just don't get involved at all because actually you don't have any interest" he's never going to know. When he's doing this stuff, I try and convey my adverse reaction by putting my head in my hands or saying "let's not talk about that Mike" or very abruptly changing the subject, but it never works. If I say "Let's not talk about it" it's like he's hit on something important and he starts pursuing it with zeal. I'm going to try and record our next car related conversation. His outlook is so extreme it would actually make for very funny listening.... if it wasn't my cars he was destroying. The other thing I thought I might try is traumatic therapy. He has a young son (my nephew, obviously) who seems to be a bit more adventurous and whom I suspect has had a parentally suppressed desire to have a go in my cars. You can see it in his eyes. They light up at the sight of it (and the Humber that preceded it). So I'm thinking next time they come round, even though I know it's off the table as far as Mike is concerned, I might say "Hey, do you want to come and have a drive round in my car". Strap him in as Mike turns into a quivering wreck behind us, roar off at a ridiculous rpm and throw the car around j-u-s-t e-n-o-u-g-h that the 10 year old child of the most risk averse man (and driver) in the world comes back home with wild tales of insane speed and derring-do. It wouldn't even require any insane speed or derring-do. He's probably never exceeded 20mph before. I reckon 40mph would be like a ride on a rocket ship for him. |
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glenanderson
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 4,349
Club RR Member Number: 64
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This was the NAUGHTY CORNERglenanderson
@glenanderson
Club Retro Rides Member 64
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May 10, 2018 13:38:39 GMT
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My 9 year old son rides on the back of my motorcycle with me. He has all the appropriate kit. My younger sister does not approve. Her face when I offered my nephew a ride on it was priceless. 😂
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My worst worry about dying is my wife selling my stuff for what I told her it cost...
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May 10, 2018 13:50:23 GMT
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You NEED to appease the fire gods that he has woken up.
Burn HIS car
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May 10, 2018 19:29:34 GMT
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Maybe it might be fun next time to agree with him for a change and get into a discussion of how bad it could actually get if you followed his ideas to the extreme?? He might get so carried away his ears would melt and trickle down his trousers making his socks wet  |
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May 10, 2018 20:00:04 GMT
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THIS ^^^^^^
oh and practise using the word "LEAVE" ,for use when he initially walks up girding his neggo loins ...
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May 10, 2018 21:17:16 GMT
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Very unscientific roadside "pyres" survey suggest modern cars much more fire-prone. All that electrickery - can't be good - all those plastics and foams...... think of the fumes when they burn ...... not good at all. Modern cars are evil.... dangerous.... Nick |
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1967 Triumph Vitesse convertible (old friend)
1996 Audi A6 2.5 TDI Avant (still durability testing)
1972 GT6 Mk3 (Restored after loong rest & getting the hang of being a car again)
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May 10, 2018 21:40:13 GMT
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To be honest, I'd skip this step.  |
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bstardchild
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 14,966
Club RR Member Number: 71
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This was the NAUGHTY CORNERbstardchild
@bstardchild
Club Retro Rides Member 71
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The next time you see him at a family event, one where eating is occurring, say “I don’t know about knives mate, they’re really dangerous; you could get stabbed in the eye or anything. Much safer to use a spoon...” Then reach across and stab him in the eye. with a spoon |
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Darkspeed
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 4,878
Club RR Member Number: 39
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This was the NAUGHTY CORNERDarkspeed
@darkspeed
Club Retro Rides Member 39
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To get some terms correct - The return pipe from the carb top is NOT any sort of overflow it's just a return - It is directly connected to the fuel inlet connection via a small orifice to ensure that there is ALWAYS flow - they both connect to the positive side of needle valve that regulates flow into the carb fuel bowl. As has been stated it's there to keep fuel flowing to prevent it getting too hot in a dead leg when the float bowl is full.
Carbs overflow into the engine - this can be viewed as fuel issuing from the auxillary venturi whilst at idle. - The Auxillary venturi is the annulus positioned in the carb throat and no fuel should drip from it when only on the idle circuit.
Fit a regulator - the Weber is not designed to take a fuel pressure above 3PSI.
I had an old Alfa Berlina that had a servo seal go - as an impoverished student I could afford the brake fluid but getting spares for ATE servo's for a 70's Italian was not so easy - the servo got so full of fluid that on ethusiastic driving on a roundabout the fluid level in the servo!! - would reach the vacuum port and take a deep draw on the fluid - the instant smoke screen created behind me was something straight out of a James Bond movie.
Also - don't use jubilee clips on fuel lines use fuel clips. Worm drive clips have no place on fuel systems.
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Last Edit: May 11, 2018 15:26:48 GMT by Darkspeed
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May 11, 2018 14:58:10 GMT
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Thanks Darkspeed. Thanks to all you others who are now too far up the screen for me to be bothered to scroll back momentarily in order to dignify you with your names. You know who you are... you're the mass of faceless homunculi who weave content. I salute you all. You complete me.
So, despite my "this isn't going at all well" work project not going at all well, I decided I needed a breather, so I downed my consultancy tools, picked up my impressively small and under-populated toolbox, and headed out to the car to try and get some of the baseline things done before it bursts into flames en route to Goodwood.
1. I had a tale of woe somewhere back there in one of the earlier pages in my fascinating "build" thread, about having to pay a garage to do the really simple job of fitting a new Facet fuel pump and how they did such a thoroughly awful job in every possible respect that I had to do the whole lot again myself that very weekend. All hose drips were eliminated and all hoses replaced. But... I was still left with a Facet that still dripped fuel out of the union points. I had done the job and put it all back together before I realised the actual union joins were not leakproof. The garage's job was so bad that the modest union drip was lost in the deluge of dodgy hose drips. So I've lived with it since, but I've been annoyed by it constantly. So this morning I decided to pull the facet off again to get the union pieces out. It seemed sensible if I was going to add pressure resistance up the line. I PTFE'd the living bejeebus out of them and then tightened them back in, noting that despite feeling tight before, they were never actually tightened home previously but left a few turns out, on the basis - I presume - that they were pointing in the right direction for the hoses.
So... now.... no more fuel pump drips. At least... not yet.
I also re-routed the fuelline away from a few questionable locations, and changed the wiring so the wiring (and the connection point between the facet's very short wire and my car's wire) is now sat above the pump, not below it as it was, where any leaking fuel could potentially have spritzed all over the wiring join and possibly not been very wonderful in light of the prophecy of doom I am now under. Thanks Mike.
2. Unpacked the fuel pressure regulator.
I have to say that I'm a little skeptical. It doesn't feel very good somehow. It's not a nice precise mechanism. It feels more like a cheap shower dial. It is a metal item but it feels somehwat flimsy and cheap. I suspect it might be a placebo gadget for boyracers. I've run the engine at the regulators lowest setting (.5psi) and it didn't seem to affect it at all. Admittedly that was only whilst parked up but it didn't seem to be short of fuel when revving it up. It didn't hunt or sputter.
3. I went to town sealing it all up though so it didn't leak at the unions as per my facet. Tightened the living gubbins out of it (not really... save yourselves from the temptation of saying "You shouldn't have overtightened it), and then fitted it to my car. Started the pump... the regulator became wet with fuel at the inlet union.
4. All off again. Re-sealed, re-tightened, back on. Still wet.
5. repeat
6. Finally. It stayed dry.
I honestly don't believe it's going to do anything at all. Time will tell... except that time may not tell very accurately because whilst I was there I could not, for some reason, resist fiddling with my idle settings... because the engine felt very off-balance.
7. Fiddled with my carb idle jets.
8. Got distracted by my regular elderly neighbourhood friend who had forgotten he'd already given me his entire history of car ownership 50 times already this year.
9. By the time we'd got to his current Hyundai i130 and I had explained that I needed the toilet just so I could go back indoors until he'd waddled away, I had forgotten where I was with my careful carb adjustments, so I just decided to screw them both right in and to start again at the baseline setting.
10. Then I got bored and came in.
Actually item 10 is innacurate. I didnt get bored, I just needed to take the plunge and drive the car, but I'm actually too terrified to do so now. Thanks prophecy.
So at this point, I have hopefully resolved the final facet fuel drip problem, fitted what I suspect is a pretend regulator off a Mothercare "My First Car" walker trolley (which might actually explode and fulfil the prophecy). Completely dossed up my carb settings, oh and replaced some of the oil I've been generously distrubuting along the Sussex highways since my last oil change.
I don't think I'm going to attempt to pull and fix my sump plug leak before Goodwood. I can see it coming out with no thread left at all, and none of my hundreds of sump plugs will fit it, and I will find myself driving to Goodwood in my wife's Skoda Yeti with absolutely no fires happening anywhere at all.
I think I might just crawl under there, wind a tonne of PTFE around the joins/gaps/cracks... slather it all in a half-melon of my own concoction consisting of chemweld, Loctite and Sugru (and maybe some of my wife's home made bread) and just bring along a can of oil and a drip tray for the display day.
Ho hum. Cars, eh!
Cheap regulators, eh!
Old neighbours, eh!
Carb settings, eh!
Sump plugs, eh!
Prophecies, eh!
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Last Edit: May 11, 2018 16:35:49 GMT by Deleted
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May 11, 2018 18:03:06 GMT
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Shame your brother in law does not drive a BMW eh? modern cars - just burst into flames for no reason, pah, not like those safe old cars. Fuel regulator will be fine, it just restricts the flow over whatever setting its set at - nothing too clever really. Carb settings - may not be fine Just gaffa tape a 50 gallon oil drum on the roof & punch a small hole in it. Poke a tube in the hole & put it in oil filler hole in the engine - ta-da! instant sump plug fix |
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I am sorry but you just exceeded the uk allowance for use of the word "eh" , you will , if you choose to look , find that your passport has become remarked on the cover with the word
.CANADA .
in case you find your new persona confusing ,i should explain that you will now find yourself:
being freindly and chatting to PEOPLE YOU HAVE NOT BEEN INTRODUCED TO !!
saying booowut instead of boot.
ending every alternative sentence with .."i know ,RIGHT"
avoiding chinese people.
having a dog that is twice the size and much friendlier than the british equivalent.
complaining when things are actually ok ,and not complaining at all when things are awful.
This was a public service announcement by the joe90reprogrammingsyndrome charity.
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jamesd1972
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 2,921 
Club RR Member Number: 40
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This was the NAUGHTY CORNERjamesd1972
@jamesd1972
Club Retro Rides Member 40
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If he does start talking to people he hasn’t been introduced to surely his BNMAC membership will be voided forthwith ?!!
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au contraire James ,that's just the sort of behaviour that get you blacklisted in all the clubs in london ,so prime BNM material !
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Darkspeed
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 4,878
Club RR Member Number: 39
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This was the NAUGHTY CORNERDarkspeed
@darkspeed
Club Retro Rides Member 39
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If he does start talking to people he hasn’t been introduced to surely his BNMAC membership will be voided forthwith ?!! Membership would only be revoked if said people actually responded in any manner other than panic. |
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He means, 'No' This was a free GeorgeB Translation Service announcement. Next week, we attempt to make sense of this...  |
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May 12, 2018 21:55:35 GMT
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Wow. Back in. There was some outage on RR today for some. I've been unable to access the forum throughout the day but for a while it seemed to be wide-spread. A quick check on the Facebook page revealed there had been an issue. I could access my account overview via proboards.com, but to my dismay I could see the site was back up and peeps were posting. I remained unable to get back though, and at this point I have concluded the outage claimed a scalp or two, one of which was my "Quatermass" account. It just doesn't work anymore.  So now I'm Overthinker. It seemed like a good choice of username. |
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