Another Thursday night is Truck night session led to more progress albeit mostly spent doing and redoing and tool hunting...
At some point during my audio build for the van I rested some MDF or clamps or something on the washer jets and managed to snap off one of the barbs for the driver side one. I looked into replacements from breakers of actys or similar vans - only one for sale was a bedford rascal one for £13. As you can imagine ebay is awash (pun intended) with standard universal car washer jets but eventually i narrowed it down to this one... on the right of the photo ... almost identical aside from twin outlets and a nut to keep it in place. More on 'kin nut that later.
I liberated the rear washer jet hose from the alto during lunctime, it wouldn't all be needed but handy having extra length to feed through holes and locate the end / retain in place afterwards.
Ideally I would have got an exhaust measured up and made on site somewhere but as the MOT has lapsed and I needed to sort the exhaust at home in advance of getting it ready to test I resorted to various clampable pieces.
After measuring up last Saturday I ordered various parts from exhaust suppliers and they all turned up on time (apart from a chrome trim which can go on at any point when it arrives.
First task was to cut off the flange...
Amid cries of panic from Mrs Minty and why I was causing smoke in the kitchen I investigated and turns out my playdoh for Ethan's Autumn term school project had finished in the oven sooner than expected - made a change to have playdoh cooking fumes in the garage rather than exhaust fumes in the kitchen...
Back on it and smacked the flange a few times with a hammer and off it came...
reducer > extension > reducer > silencer hammered together. (Flexi pipe in the photo further up made it too long in the end) ...
Extension clamped in place but need to get a 51mm clamp to clamp the extension onto the legacy pipee.
silencer hanging bracket and hnaging rubber fixed to silencer and on original hanging hook on the truck...
2 hours down, next up was the washer jets, surely a quick job to get done? Was it flip...
The first challenge was fitting the new jet, sounds easy enough, push the jet with rubber washer through the hole, push the second rubber washer and nut over the washer jet thread and tighten.
First problem being, access to the nut from behind, I didn’t get a photo because at the time I was
very frustrated but half of the nut is accessible so fine for at least finger tightening it in place. Well it would be if someone could hold the jet from the other side whilst tightening nut, unfortunately I work alone so after trying to reach around with one arm through the window and under the dashboard and getting nowhere fast I adopted the pull the washer hose to keep it tight against the panel whilst tightening the nut technique.
Every time I thought I’d got it and loosened the jet up popped those little eye-like jets staring back at me through the windscreen, it took on a whole life of itself staring at me bobbing around saying “what are you doing with your life?” As I wrestled with plastic and contortionist movements just to meet an MOT standard of being able to wash the windscreen of a truck that will hardly ever get dirty enough to warrant their requirement.
The plastic thread on the jet was adding to the problem too I think because it offers that bit more resistance than a metal thread.
I tried everything, pliers, grips, various spanners, each of which needed to be hunted down.
To make matters worse I knew that somewhere in my armoury I have the spanner perfect for the job - a ratchet ring spanner of the right size with an adjustable angled hinge - knowing that this lurked somewhere in the same room as me just kept tempting me so each attempt of using random tools was interspersed with another idea and search of where it might be hiding.
I never did get to the bottom of where that perfect tool is but as I type this account I’m now wondering if it was actually on the dashboard right in front of me the whole time. Wherever it is or was I’m sure it will catch my gaze a hundred times as I walk past it or see it in my bag when I’m looking for a completely different tool that is hiding at that time.
Eventually the technique I adopted to keep the washer jet firm was to pull the hose tight enough to keep the jet in place and then cable tie it to the dashboard support beside the jet.
Once it was fixed in position it was time to locate the hose end from the pump, first of all i needed to fill with water via the inlet on the outside of the van which always makes me question the amount times I was a temptation for passing drunks to use as a urinal...
Once it had water I pulled the stalk a few times until I found the source of the water and connected the hose up.
A couple of squirts and the jets were giving out - well they were but straight into the bottom edge of the wipers at the bottom of the screen.
The next half an hour was spent adjusting the aim with a pin in the eyes of the protagonist washer jet, revenge for bobbing its little ninja octopus head up over the parapet of the windscreen for the past hour. Yet still the creature wasn’t giving in - first the pin bending eyes wouldn’t budge leading me to question whether they were supposed to on this particular jet - eventually it budged but then as is usually the way the next squirt sent water up flying over the roof. Gradual trial and error adjustments across both eyes on the new jet eventually led to one jet hitting passenger side and one jet hitting driver side.
Shall I leave it there I thought... well it might be a failure if I leave the inoperative passenger side jet in place ... can’t take me long to get that one sorted now ... can it? And if it does defeat me then I can replace with a blanking plate because the new jet covers both sides of the screen any way.
First of all I’ll disconnect the hose from the pump to check water is coming out.
The next part was the turning point that led me from annoying frustration to maniacally laughing out loud, I think the effects of being awake for 18 hours was starting to kick in.
So there I am sitting on the floor of the van because I’ve not put the seat back in place, I’m staring straight at the hose tail, the hose tail staring back at me. I’m ready to pull the stalk and I’m thinking is that going to squirt at me?
No of course it won’t.
That only happens on laurel and hardy or sooty or sweep or the chuckle brothers or tom and Jerry or circuses or pantomimes or countless other slapstick entertainment throughout the decades.
Oh yes it will.
Pull stalk, pump primes, whirr goes the motor, squirt goes the water, not on my legs or my top but no full comedy effect SPLASH straight on my face, mouth and eyes.
And yes I did physically laugh out loud to myself muttering that’s another fine mess.
Alas there was no goldfish to squirt back out my mouth so not 100% on the slapstickometer.
From that point on any frustrations were subdued by my grinning at recollections of the previous squirting. The cause of the failure was identified as a blocked non return valve so I swapped that out with hose from the alto and got it working again.
This led to more needle tweaking until eventually I got even distribution on each side of the screen.
I could go to bed content and a few more steps closer to MOT readiness.
A nice arty shot unrelated to the current ongoing work...
