"If only you were nearer" Back on track! Apologies...

This thread is one of the best things I have followed for a very long time. My car mojo has failed a bit this year after the death of my father earlier this year and the ongoing probate (which is really getting me down) but reading this tale has really uplifted my mood. The photo of that young lad being a kid without a care in the world reminded me of my childhood and how carefree it was. I'm hoping to get my jag xj6 done next year and this story has given me the kick up the backside that I needed. Great work Bruce looking forward to the rest.

If Athena was still in business you could send them those pictures of the car on the bridge! Particularly like the first one with a bored looking Scott in the background.

The bridge with the wood reminds me of Clevedon Pier.

"You could stick a stylus from a record player in those swirls and it would play you the story of this car."

Superb turn of phrase!

Like many others on here I'm sure, the picture of the car across the bridge is now my desktop shot.

Ever since looking into buying the Dirtbag and consequently looking through your build thread, your photography has been top notch, the photo's in thread are stunning! Well done sir, awesome thread. THE best thread I've read, period.

As has been said, this:

"You could stick a stylus from a record player in those swirls and it would play you the story of this car."

Is the kind of phrasing which most people dream of.

Astounding work, my friend

*n

That's really kind of you to say. I've never been that great at writing (got a grade 'C' for English language and a 'D' for literature) but I just try and describe things how I see them. I'd much sooner be pointing a camera at things.

Thanks again though.



There were times, somehow, I can't think how, we ended up going a LOT faster. Long, long open roads where you can see for a few miles and a car that will only take the horizon for an answer makes for a ridiculous combination. This car would be an utter waste most places. Most of these cars are wasted when I think how few must have this sort of environment as their playground. Or an owner like Scott who is more than happy to have an imperfect looking car if it means he can really use it.

And boy does he use it.


Seeing the condition of the paint on this car, it made me think how many people would weep at the way it looks in the flesh, but that only enhances the true nature of the car. Marisa Tomei without her makeup. Honest, natural, stunning beauty without the need to cover it with hours of Max Factor and L'Oreal. Real.


As time has gone on and as I've got older, I've definitely become more fond of the 'long hood' early cars. But the impact bumper cars will always have a special place in my heart, I guess growing up with them as the icons of that era has cemented that in my mind.




10 minutes pass and Scott starts cursing that she's not going to come, when coming over the crest of the hill we see the familiar shape and colour of the family Corolla.

A few moments later Yvonne pulls up behind the 911.

Now, I'm going to let you into a little secret here. You know when you see photos of cars moving at speed through the landscape? Fast motion shots in magazines and on billboards? They aren't done with big fancy cars with expensive kit. There aren't any magical tricks. There aren't any helicopters flying alongside. There aren't even super fast cars that can match the speed of the vehicle being photographed.

Not in Bruce's world at any rate.

What they have in my world is a battered, beaten, burgundy 1992 Corolla estate. A family car with copious amounts of dog hair, straw/hay and shopping bags in the boot. A 5'2" woman peering over the steering wheel with her seat as far forward as possible. And a 2yr old toddler asleep in her baby seat in the back. One rear seat folded down, a leg wrapped in one of the seatbelts as a nod to the gods of health and safety. And the driver under strict instructions to prove to her husband that her $500 shopping car is faster than his 500bhp Porsche.

Now, THAT'S how you do tracking cars in Canada.

I'll tell you something right now, that woman really did surprise me with how she can nail a Corolla through the gears. My money would definitely be on her for the Mumsnet GP.

I was genuinely glad my token seatbelt harness was installed....she was fast enough off the mark for me to actually need it! And before you think I'm making all this up, here is a shot I took by complete accident (and didn't even know about until I loaded the photos onto my computer) - this proves how hi-tech my photography methods are. And I think this was taken at a speed faster than even Toyota will admit their cars will go. Porsche should be worried!



I really regret not actually getting a shot of my amazing tracking car, especially with the comedy sight of Yvonne peeking out from behind the wheel and little Gracie completely oblivious in the back seat.

What I can do instead is show you how effective a combination of Corolla and Yvonne can be:












When we pull over I'm pretty worried because Yvonne is very quiet.

I release my leg from its 3 point Vulcan grip and climb out to see if she's OK? (especially as she's never done anything like this before). She's sat there in silence with the biggest grin ever on her face, "Can we do it again? Please? That was so much fun!"

I'm not one to deliberately upset a woman....and with that she spins the car around and we head back towards the bridge once more time



.....and even faster!!!









By now even Gracie is awake and squealing with sheer delight as we absolutely fly across the bridge! What a moment to be hanging out the back of this car. Absolutely UNFORGETTABLE!!

With the second pass complete, Yvonne suddenly realises she has to be back home because the school bus will be dropping Clay off pretty soon.

No panic, she's now aware she owns the worlds fastest Corolla. She'll have covered the ten minute journey in approx one minute and twenty three seconds.

Before we knew it, the burgundy estate has disappeared from sight. I would have put money on Yvonne having a huge grin all the way home.


I mention to Scott that I'd like to do a few panning shots and with that, he's off and racing down....



....and up...



...and down the road




Then all of a sudden the car slows down dramatically and he limps it into the gravel turn in that I'm stood in.

It seems the fuel relay has gone again. Another new one is fitted:




But nothing happens. He swaps realys over a few more times, but nothing. Nowt. Nada. The car simply refuses to fire into life.

Some checking and tinkering later, Scott decides he's not going to be able to get the car running at the side of the road, so he calls up a recovery truck to take the car, and us, back to the farm. Out here, in the sticks, I was expecting a three to four hour wait, but I'm informed that the tow truck will be here in under an hour. "Come again??"

It would seem that, despite the remote nature of Alberta once you're clear of Calgary, a tow truck can be with you far quicker than the big yellow taxis of the UK, even though they are usually only a handful of miles away. Amazing!

Scott apologises that the shoot has come to an abrupt end. I tell him I can still take some photos but he's not convinced, "What, here? In this gravel turning? That's going to look a bit curse word isn't it?"

What he's missing is that this car just looks so good, even in a gravel entrance to a dust track, even when it's broken down. This is a slant nose 930 in bright red. How can it look bad?

I mean, just look at this interior....filthy mats, worn seats and dust/dirt everywhere from it being a used daily driver, yet it still looks this good.



This car is such a flirt. such a tease!



Such a tease.



Marissa Tomei cancels our date halfway through the evening, just after a nice meal but before we head out for some drinks. The night is over way before I want it to be. Yet I can't be angry with her, I can't be upset, I mean.....JUST LOOK AT HER!!





Even sat there, broken, licking its wounds back at the farm a few hours later I can't help but keep staring at it. Anyone who knows me can vouch for my disdain for red cars. But not this one, not one little bit.

The sun is setting, the light is fading, yet the colour is brighter than ever. Alive. I'm in love with this car.






That, I can tell you, was a truly magical day.

Scott is an amazing guy and totally deserves this car. I am genuinely stuck for words how best to describe the whole experience, I just can't. Every single part of the day added up to make it something I'll never forget. As a whole, it was completely off the scale, but each little element has its own place in that memory. Probably most special was hanging from the rear of the Toyota with Gracie asleep in her chair next to me, Yvonne driving with the spirit of an F1 driver on the last lap and the living embodiment of my childhood Athena poster cutting through the Canadian landscape at speed, literally an arms length from my lens.

It doesn't get any better than that.

Or perhaps it just might? Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Fantastic. Just bloody fantastic!

Well done Sir, well done indeed.

I just stumbled upon this thread and couldn't get me eyes off of it until the end (so much for my productivity at work today).

I had no other choice than to subscribe to this forum (hence, this is my very first post - hello guys!), so that I could subscribe to this thread.

Thank you for taking me/us with you in your trip!