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Sorry to hear that ^
It's hard reading. When fear replaces hope it is a really bleak place to be in. No car would seem interesting on that drive home. So glad we know the hopelessness didn't win.
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Apr 22, 2020 16:09:01 GMT
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Hey PP, just a heads up that only the first image is currently visible for me.. not sure what's going on this time. Getting nice big NOPE symbols. Also there's a spelling error riiiight at the end.  Thanks for that. I don't know why but I#m getting that symbol too, even in the bit where I write it. I've checked my archive and the photos are still there so I've no idea what is going on, but looking back through my posts it started about a month ago... Oddly it doesnn't seem to be affecting my klunkerz blog... I'll look into it. I have corrected the spelling mistake though, thanks  A friend of mine has just found out that his throat cancer has come back, this time pretty much terminally. He's given up this time though  Can't imagine what a curse word feeling it is when you get to receive your own life insurance payout. I'm so sorry to hear that varelse, oddly when a friend of mine had throat cancer he went through all the treatment, and got better. Then he was diagnosed with it again five years later, and he just said nope, I'm all done. he didn't want any more treatment and so sadly this was the end of him, but I guess he'd just had enough, and didn't want to go through it all again. would you have another go at a Jag to see if it was your mindset at the time? I've thought about this... I think that I would. If I ever did the project again, and no doubt I will as I did it in a slightly different manner back in the early nineties, the next time I would liek to think there will be another X-type in the mix. When fear replaces hope it is a really bleak place to be in. Thats for sure, I just felt so absolutely hopeless. No car would seem interesting on that drive home. Yep, I couldn't really see it at the time, but now, looking back I'm fairly sure I would feel differently. So glad we know the hopelessness didn't win. SPOILER ALERT!! lol I went back through the last dozen or so blog posts until I stopped having images missing. I looked in my blog picture archive to see if they were all still there and they all were. So I've re-added them to the posts. I've no idea why they weren't showing up lately as I'm pretty sure when I posted them originally they were all there. Anyway, hopefully they're there for good now, but if they've disappeared again, please do let me know. |
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Apr 22, 2020 19:42:32 GMT
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Apr 22, 2020 23:05:45 GMT
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Can confirm all three photos at there, plus photos have returned to the last one.
Yes, my friend has had his diagnosis this time come back pretty terminal, so he's not keen to go through all the discomfort again to just squeeze out a few more months..
It's a bit curse word, but he's already had more time than originally predicted (they were surprised to remove the cancer last time), and as such his 'life' is pretty much in order.
Was the 12 cars in a year really in the nineties?? I thought it was in the..tens?
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Pistonpoppers MotorJournal.johnthesparky
@johnthesparky
Club Retro Rides Member 6
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I was quite tempted by one of these or a Saab 93 estate years ago, They both had that problem, people were keen to mention the Saab was just an expensive Vectra, but somehow the Jag suffers worse. I think it’s that aspiration thing, if you have one people think you have delusions of grandeur.... I just thought it was really pretty  |
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Apr 24, 2020 16:31:27 GMT
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Can confirm all three photos at there, plus photos have returned to the last one. Thankyou for the confirmation, glad to hear they're all there this time. I've no idea what happened, as the same hadn't happened on my klunkerz blog, and as all the pictures were still in the blooger photo archive I spent the evening going through my previous entries until I found some that didn't have the pictures missing, and then just went back and put all the pictrues back into the ones that did have photos missing. Yes, my friend has had his diagnosis this time come back pretty terminal, so he's not keen to go through all the discomfort again to just squeeze out a few more months.. It's a bit curse word, but he's already had more time than originally predicted (they were surprised to remove the cancer last time), and as such his 'life' is pretty much in order. Still it's a pretty sad state of affair, not just for him, but for all his family and friends who have to just helplessly stand back and watch him slowly go. I've watched quite a few of my friends go through treatment, and thankfully a lot of them have survived, and are alledgedly clear of it. Unfortuantely there is also a good number that have slowly died too. No matter what their age, it is a very sad thing to watch, and I find it infuriating that there's absolutley nothing that you can do to stop it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and I feel your pain for your friend varelse . I was quite tempted by one of these or a Saab 93 estate years ago, They both had that problem, people were keen to mention the Saab was just an expensive Vectra, but somehow the Jag suffers worse. I think it’s that aspiration thing, if you have one people think you have delusions of grandeur.... I just thought it was really pretty I must admit I thought that Jaguar X-type was quite a pretty car too, and I wonder if it was that I actually had delusions on grandeur. I think it just didn't match up to how good I thought it should be in my head. I'm not saying it was bad, but I imagined it would be better. I just felt a bit let down really, I possibly expected too much of it. Was the 12 cars in a year really in the nineties?? I thought it was in the..tens? The first time I documented the adventure(?) on t'internet was 2015. But twenty odd years previously when I was a bit of a 'loose canon' I did a similar thing, I just went about it in a different manner. It was sort of the inspiration for the 2015 version (which I did properly). I did document the early nineties version in a notebook, and I think I even took photos too, although possibly not of every car I used. My feeling is that the journal and possibly the photos are still in my folks loft at their house... I doubt it's very good though, I was in my early twenties, and just wanted to drive and drive, rather than write about it. Perhaps at some point I'll dig it out, see if it's worth talking about. |
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Apr 24, 2020 22:35:59 GMT
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Could be worth it just for your own memories Nevermind us! |
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Apr 28, 2020 20:10:12 GMT
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Apr 28, 2020 21:15:38 GMT
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Thanks for sharing, you eloquently put how most of us feel for these hiccups in life, mixed with your experiences of the car doing its duty for you, it makes great reading, although the fewer health hiccups the better. Thanks.
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eurogranada
Europe
To tinker or not to tinker, that is the question...
Posts: 2,556
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Apr 29, 2020 10:12:38 GMT
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Tough read these last updates. Even though they are a blast from the past and you're here to document it all.
The way you desribe things, well....it just puts me right besides the hospital bed of my then 3 year old daughter, telling her it's ok to go if she can't fight (the cancer) anymore...the state of mind...all of it. Still don't know how I survived, not to mention how my marriage survived and best of all how my little girl survived everything that was thrown at her to stop her from doing that...
Admittedly I can't wacht hospital shows or ambulance shows etc whether they are real life drama or scripted...
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Apr 29, 2020 16:49:38 GMT
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I've never been able to watch those hospital type shows eurogranada they freak me right out. To be honest, what you've said about your then three year old Daughter is pretty much why I didn't write about it in the first place. I am very glad to hear that she made it through it all OK. When I re-read my notes from back in 2015 I seriously wondered if I should include it or not as I wasn't sure how some of you might feel, and as it wasn't really car related, was it even relevant? Thats why I asked what you guys all thought... Now then, I have a question for you fellas out there who read my blog. When I wrote the story back in 2015 I was in a pretty wierd place in my head when I had the Jaguar X-type. I wasn't very well physically (apparently) and this meant that I wasn't very well mentally either. Re-reading what I wrote on this forum, I didn't let on about how I was feeling, however, in my scribbled notes in my notebooks I did write about how I was feeling, and what was going on in my life. So my question is, how do you want it, longer, but still essentially edited highlights, or all in? Even when you guys said you wanted it all in I still worried that it might be opening up old wounds for a few of you. Re-reading it, and actually writing it has opened it all up again for me. Sitting here I've had my head in my hands several times over the last few weeks. Even now, five years on every time this time of year comes around my throat feels funny, and writing about it all over again it has felt really odd. Right now it feels like it's sort of closing up, but it isn't, it's all in my mind, and even more rediculous is that at the time it wasn't uncomfortable at all. Infact if my Dentist hadn't said anything I doubt I'd have known! the other thing is, I took photos of the whole thing too, and they're all mixed in with the other photos I took that month of the cars, and well, life in general. I take photos every day if I can, and so wierdly I even took photos of the inside of my mouth, both before, and after surgery. But I felt that adding these were probably taking it too far, so I've left them out, it's one thing reading about it, it's another thing looking at the actual pictures! To be honest I'm getting the feeling that a lot of people are a bit outside their comfort zone with my recent posts, either that or they're just not enjoying the story telling like I'd hoped...  As you can see, I don't have a lot of readers, but the readers of my Jaguar posts have been dropping every time I upload an update. Which I guess is understandable. Fear not, next months posts shouldn't be quite so gruelling! Lastly, to all you guys who are reading it, I am genuinely sorry if I am opening up old wounds for you, that was not my intention, like I said, it's brought it all back to me, I even laid awake in bed last night thinking about it all, kept me up pretty much all night! So thankyou all for sticking with me and seeing it through, normal service will soon be resumed!
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Apr 29, 2020 18:29:15 GMT
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It's not always a bad thing to rethink these things through sometimes, for yourself or others. It can put things in perspective and make us all more grateful for what we do have, and who is around us. My wife works in a hospice and it has helped us be very grateful for what we have, even when things aren't great.
I hope you manage to get a full night's sleep tonight, from a grateful regular reader!
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maf260
Part of things
Posts: 533
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Apr 29, 2020 21:46:42 GMT
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I think you are very brave to write what you have and put yourself 'out there' in an online world full of criticism and lacking in empathy and understanding.
If you're writing the journal for yourself then carry on and write whatever you like. If you're writing for an audience then carry on and write whatever you like! This is your story, I think it adds an immensely human element to a car blog and you have a very affable style of writing IMHO.
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Apr 29, 2020 22:56:35 GMT
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I think people need to learn to explore avenues that they are not comfortable with (especially if it educates them!), as a better understanding of what's going on around them and how others are dealing with things better equips them to deal with it themselves, or at least be a better person to others. Tbh, I haven't read many of your redone posts because I generally don't reread things unless it really tickles my fancy, but I went out of my way to read the Jag ones because your posts here about the life struggle piqued my interest. Carry on, I say. But more rod updates please |
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eurogranada
Europe
To tinker or not to tinker, that is the question...
Posts: 2,556
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I've never been able to watch those hospital type shows eurogranada they freak me right out. To be honest, what you've said about your then three year old Daughter is pretty much why I didn't write about it in the first place. I am very glad to hear that she made it through it all OK. When I re-read my notes from back in 2015 I seriously wondered if I should include it or not as I wasn't sure how some of you might feel, and as it wasn't really car related, was it even relevant? To be honest I'm getting the feeling that a lot of people are a bit outside their comfort zone with my recent posts, either that or they're just not enjoying the story telling like I'd hoped... As you can see, I don't have a lot of readers, but the readers of my Jaguar posts have been dropping every time I upload an update. Which I guess is understandable. Fear not, next months posts shouldn't be quite so gruelling! Lastly, to all you guys who are reading it, I am genuinely sorry if I am opening up old wounds for you, that was not my intention, like I said, it's brought it all back to me, I even laid awake in bed last night thinking about it all, kept me up pretty much all night! So thankyou all for sticking with me and seeing it through, normal service will soon be resumed! I don't think you have to excuse yourself for the feelings your blog may have stirred in people. At least not in my view. So don't feel bad on my account. My story of my life since falling in love with my wife is one of ups and downs and we've been through a hell of a lot. So much so I won't bore you with it, but the cancer in my daughter still takes the cake and I'm very grateful she's still here with nothing more than some minor brain damage (have a look at www.dehubbertjes.nl for the story in dutch or the picture books from the time if you want to have an inkling of our life. Best start at the back, the oldest stuff is the most serious). She's doing very well. And I'm proud! It's just an experience (they all add up) that is with you forever and the despair and pain is usually nicely tucked away, but never gone. So when I feel for people and care for their story, it's usually the way it is talked about or written about that triggers me. Yours is just written like I could have myself... and therefore hits home. Also, I view many of you long time contributors as friends. And I care for friends... Regarding your numbers, don't know if it's the car or not. To me it's also a little bit that I already know the story, maybe in less detail or other detail, but the general line is still in my head. Maybe others have that too. And maybe the numbers will go up in the next days. This strange time makes people deviate from normal routines anyway... Besides, do you write for yourself or specifically for the audience? I mainly write for myself but very much enjoy the audience. Just keep it up and stay strong. Stay grateful for the things in life you have and are able to do. Easier said than done, yes... Not too good at it myself to be honest. But RR and my car are a strong medicine for when I have a tough time. All the best! |
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Apr 30, 2020 20:09:13 GMT
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I think you are very brave to write what you have and put yourself 'out there' in an online world full of criticism and lacking in empathy and understanding. If you're writing the journal for yourself then carry on and write whatever you like. If you're writing for an audience then carry on and write whatever you like! This is your story, I think it adds an immensely human element to a car blog and you have a very affable style of writing IMHO. Thanks. My story of my life since falling in love with my wife is one of ups and downs and we've been through a hell of a lot. So much so I won't bore you with it, but the cancer in my daughter still takes the cake and I'm very grateful she's still here with nothing more than some minor brain damage (have a look at www.dehubbertjes.nl for the story in dutch or the picture books from the time if you want to have an inkling of our life. Best start at the back, the oldest stuff is the most serious). She's doing very well. And I'm proud! I had a quick look earlier, and frankly I went through nothing in comparisson, your little girl is a proper hero, and you are right to be proud of her. I'll have a proper look through, and try to translate the text when I have a little more time on my hands. Also, I view many of you long time contributors as friends. And I care for friends... Got to admit that despite meeting very few of you guys I do think of us all here as a bit of a big friend group, and I am glad to think of everyeone who posts in my threads, or reads my blog as my friends too. Tbh, I haven't read many of your redone posts because I generally don't reread things unless it really tickles my fancy, but I went out of my way to read the Jag ones because your posts here about the life struggle piqued my interest. Regarding your numbers, don't know if it's the car or not. To me it's also a little bit that I already know the story, maybe in less detail or other detail, but the general line is still in my head. Maybe others have that too. And maybe the numbers will go up in the next days. This strange time makes people deviate from normal routines anyway... Besides, do you write for yourself or specifically for the audience? I mainly write for myself but very much enjoy the audience. Got to admit I thought this too, you all pretty much already know the story, so theres probably a fair few that don't feel the need to re-read it. Which is fine, theres plenty of good content on this forum alone to keep us all in reading material for ages, so why deviate to my blog? For me I am actually glad I've started to re-write it, mainly because if I didn't I would have next to nothing to write about this year, I've not even driven anything in the last two months as I've just been stuck at home trying to teach the kids something. Sure am glad that I didn't get around to organising another go at 12 cars in a year this year! I also write it mainly for myself, and like you, I do enjoy the audience too, and I am very greatful for everyone who takes time out of their day to read, and share their thoughts about what I have written. It's not always a bad thing to rethink these things through sometimes, for yourself or others. It can put things in perspective and make us all more grateful for what we do have, and who is around us. My wife works in a hospice and it has helped us be very grateful for what we have, even when things aren't great. I hope you manage to get a full night's sleep tonight, from a grateful regular reader! Thanks, even at the time when I looked at what some other people had to go through, and were going through I did sort of think I was making a mountain out of a molehill, and seeing what eurogranada 's little lady went through I do feel a bit of a pansy for whining about it. But at the time I was really quite frightened, and even though in the grand scheme of things it was really nothing, to me it felt huge. Carry on, I say. But more rod updates please I'll try to get another one out before I start on car number five. |
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Apr 30, 2020 20:10:40 GMT
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Too hard to edit multi quotes within quotes on my phone..
even though in the grand scheme of things it was really nothing, to me it felt huge.
Humans are afraid of the unknown, I don't think anyone would call you a pansy for worrying that you might have something serious that you know nothing about and can't actually change through your own actions.
What else are you expected to do, headbutt it?
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Last Edit: May 1, 2020 2:10:27 GMT by varelse
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eurogranada
Europe
To tinker or not to tinker, that is the question...
Posts: 2,556
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Just as an addition... My intent was not to take away from your own story and I sort of feel asif I may have... Also, we all go through our own things and though in some grand scheme they may appear to be comparable to the point that one can say, "well what I went through was nothing compared to...", but in all reality what we go through individually is always worst. As that happens to ourselves...those are our own worries and fears etc. and that is perfectly ok.
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