I think you know where this is going and there will be horrorshow ultraviolence my droogs I can tell you.
DDB who are VW's adrvetising agency really are going to be getting a firey dog doo left on their door step.
Its the Passat advert which is raising my ire right about now. You know the one, a bunch of guys of a certain age are in teh psychiatrists / therapist's office talking about all the stuff they have going on like learning the electric guitar and buying a boat etc. And then finally one looks aout of the window and sees a Passat parked outside.
"Yours?"
"Yeah" says the smug therapist cnut.
"I had one of them, traded it in for a bloody big motorbike"
And then some frikkin equally smug ad strapline on the screen, which I can't even remember is so frikkin lame.
So what is VW trying to say here?
That its wrong to want to boff 20 year olds and ride a motorbike?
That you should just grow the mutha funk up you middle aged sadoo? Well, thank you VW I don;t nead lifestyle advice from the unofficial sponsor of BEastie Boy's "Licenced to Ill" tour... Or was it Beastie Boys sponsored your parts department I forget. Whackass!!!
I think the message appears to be "VW Passat, for when you realise you really are passed it"
Heres some more for you...
"VW Passat - where the smug fvckers go to die"
"VW Passat - because out ad agency hates us!"
"VW Passat - for when you like Werthers Originals and beige slacks"
Or better still, hop over to www.ddb.com/ and tell them they are spazzes. "Better ideas, better results" my fanny aunt anus.
I mean, would you hire an ad agencty that can't come up with a better slogan for themselves? Meh, "ddb - I scopred with lots of hot chicks over the weekend and did half a metric tonne of coke" thats more like it.
And while we're on the subject, why the hell would a crying black guy make me want to buy Clover? Come on, its a butter like spead to put on your breead before the jam or corned beef goes on there. If that makes you cry you have real issues. If its soething else making him cry I think its very mean of Clover to be cashing in on his grief like that. Maybe he bought a Passat and realised he'll never pull fit bird ever again. Maybe he should be advertising for Werthers in that case.
However I have to say who ever is behind the "Spam up!" campaign for, well, Spam, is pure unfiltered genius. Not so much in that it makes me want to buy Spam but that it makes me want to hire their sales force. Who ever managed to sell that concept (for money, and probably lots of it) to the Spam Marketting Board deserves a medal. What was the pitch? "Nobody is going to take you or your product seriously so lets just do the worst possible advert possible eVAh and some 37 year old curmudgeon in Nottingham will fall off his sofa laughing his ass off at us but at least we'll be up for the "heaviest handed use of irony without the customer noticing" award at the creative media advrtising awards dinner"
Yee-funking-haw. RespeK to the muthaz in the red braces this time chappoez!!!!
And then I switched channels and the end of Fifth Gear was on (I actually wanted to watch that programme obout short angry men or maybe that was a different day ut one of them drove a smart car which was kinda funny and it had Neons under it)
Anyway, some pratt was driving round in one of those Kia Ceed things and it wqas all really really dreadful Like embarrassingly bad. And I don't know much more about it that that and the fact that Paparatzi drive dented Audis.
I suspected as much. You may know my opinion of typical Audi owners. Meh.
The final weirdness was when I discover that the new Chrysler Sebring is going on sale in the UK and that alrthough its £2K dearer than an entry level Mondeo it does have a 2.0 engine rtather than the Mondeo 1.6 and it features not just cup holders, not just HEATED cup holders --- BUT-- it features HEATED / CHILLING CUP HOLDERS!
Yo yo yo yo yo. My beveredge bitches are down with that!
WHen will it all end, when will the voices stop? Do I really need to kill ALL those people?
DDB who are VW's adrvetising agency really are going to be getting a firey dog doo left on their door step.
Its the Passat advert which is raising my ire right about now. You know the one, a bunch of guys of a certain age are in teh psychiatrists / therapist's office talking about all the stuff they have going on like learning the electric guitar and buying a boat etc. And then finally one looks aout of the window and sees a Passat parked outside.
"Yours?"
"Yeah" says the smug therapist cnut.
"I had one of them, traded it in for a bloody big motorbike"
And then some frikkin equally smug ad strapline on the screen, which I can't even remember is so frikkin lame.
So what is VW trying to say here?
That its wrong to want to boff 20 year olds and ride a motorbike?
That you should just grow the mutha funk up you middle aged sadoo? Well, thank you VW I don;t nead lifestyle advice from the unofficial sponsor of BEastie Boy's "Licenced to Ill" tour... Or was it Beastie Boys sponsored your parts department I forget. Whackass!!!
I think the message appears to be "VW Passat, for when you realise you really are passed it"
Heres some more for you...
"VW Passat - where the smug fvckers go to die"
"VW Passat - because out ad agency hates us!"
"VW Passat - for when you like Werthers Originals and beige slacks"
Or better still, hop over to www.ddb.com/ and tell them they are spazzes. "Better ideas, better results" my fanny aunt anus.
I mean, would you hire an ad agencty that can't come up with a better slogan for themselves? Meh, "ddb - I scopred with lots of hot chicks over the weekend and did half a metric tonne of coke" thats more like it.
And while we're on the subject, why the hell would a crying black guy make me want to buy Clover? Come on, its a butter like spead to put on your breead before the jam or corned beef goes on there. If that makes you cry you have real issues. If its soething else making him cry I think its very mean of Clover to be cashing in on his grief like that. Maybe he bought a Passat and realised he'll never pull fit bird ever again. Maybe he should be advertising for Werthers in that case.
However I have to say who ever is behind the "Spam up!" campaign for, well, Spam, is pure unfiltered genius. Not so much in that it makes me want to buy Spam but that it makes me want to hire their sales force. Who ever managed to sell that concept (for money, and probably lots of it) to the Spam Marketting Board deserves a medal. What was the pitch? "Nobody is going to take you or your product seriously so lets just do the worst possible advert possible eVAh and some 37 year old curmudgeon in Nottingham will fall off his sofa laughing his ass off at us but at least we'll be up for the "heaviest handed use of irony without the customer noticing" award at the creative media advrtising awards dinner"
Yee-funking-haw. RespeK to the muthaz in the red braces this time chappoez!!!!
And then I switched channels and the end of Fifth Gear was on (I actually wanted to watch that programme obout short angry men or maybe that was a different day ut one of them drove a smart car which was kinda funny and it had Neons under it)
Anyway, some pratt was driving round in one of those Kia Ceed things and it wqas all really really dreadful Like embarrassingly bad. And I don't know much more about it that that and the fact that Paparatzi drive dented Audis.
I suspected as much. You may know my opinion of typical Audi owners. Meh.
The final weirdness was when I discover that the new Chrysler Sebring is going on sale in the UK and that alrthough its £2K dearer than an entry level Mondeo it does have a 2.0 engine rtather than the Mondeo 1.6 and it features not just cup holders, not just HEATED cup holders --- BUT-- it features HEATED / CHILLING CUP HOLDERS!
Yo yo yo yo yo. My beveredge bitches are down with that!
WHen will it all end, when will the voices stop? Do I really need to kill ALL those people?