Letter from Manila - Santol - of course!

In true Philippine style, after two weeks of silence, I've been asked to present the operational bits of the freight railway to the sponsor's main board tomorrow afternoon.

So we've done a presentation using small words in big writing with lots and lots of colour, (it is an executive board after all, so think like a child's first reader book! ) to hit them with. If they're happy, the project is a goer.

I'm hopeful as I've got three other projects past this CEO before.

Then they give me millions of dollars and we can go play trains, big time

Got the girls polishing my shoes and fingers are crossed.

Whilst we're waiting more rail based news, let's have a look at something else very retro in Manila. The taxis...

One thing that immediately stood out to me when I first came here were the names of the taxi companies. Most are one car affairs and operate 24/7 with drivers doing a minimum of 12 hour shifts in order to pay their rental for the car.

Anyway, the names. Some are quite straightforward, 'World Taxi' isn't going to raise any eyebrows, but here are some of the more, erm, original ones. And yes, if you come to Manila, you can see these plying their trade.

Erinmaxraymundkristoffer – obviously all the (oddly spelt) kids names joined together. He’ll need a bigger car if he has any more. Many taxis use this method of naming their company

Winsome – the OED defines as follows; adj. attractive or appealing in a fresh, innocent way. Do you know any taxi drivers fitting of this description? Nope, nor do I.

Three Brother – pretty self-explanatory, but singular? Siamese triplets?

Indescribable Gift – dunno. Did some passer-by say, “Here’s a coupla million Peso, go buy a taxi”? And why “Indescribable”? “Incredible” I could go with, although “Improbable” would be more likely.

Golden Onion – can’t even begin to fathom the thought process here.

TTTT&T – erm, taxed, tested…God knows.

Miss World – driven by a guy of around 90. Wishful thinking? A ploy to entice a better class of totty maybe? And no, it hadn’t just been painted to celebrate Miss Philippines’ recent promotion.

Jesus Saves – if he got an “Indescribable Gift” he wouldn’t need to, would he?

Golden Boy – nowhere near as good as Golden B0llocks would be, but way better than Golden Onion.

Boylet and Girlie – can someone really have named their children thus? It would seem so.

Heir of the Promise – heard of Hair of the Dog, but this is a new one.

Nik Nok – no idea, a bit like the two girlies in accounts at the Bangkok office of a company I used to work for; Tick and Tock.

Princess Hana – fine.

Basic – probably not conveying what he wants, but okaaay.

1 Sister & 2 Brudas – is what it says on the tin I guess.

Hardboard – please, will someone talk me through the thought process behind this one then.

Spoilt Child – is that one that came out the microwave wrong? “I told you only 3 minutes on medium”. Or was it some loving father who said to his son one day, “You know you’re my favourite, so I’m going to buy you a clapped out old white Toyota with no shock absorbers or operational air-con and condemn you to 40 years of driving in some of the worst traffic in the world. For a pittance. But don’t tell your brother, or he’ll want one too.”

Alien Workshop – I’ll leave you to ponder that one!

Amptax – yes, they do anagrams here as well!

It's Me – Well who else would it be?

Ashton Cars – This went past after a few beers and I had a horrible vision that I’d been transported back to east Manchester!

D'Airbase – Of Airbase? What’s that mean? Sounds like something Idi Amin would have said, “just’ poppin’ down de airbase an’ see how de latest roun’ o’ de mass hangin's an’ similar comin’ along.” (With apologies to the late, great, talented Alan Coren. www.ourcivilisation.com/smartboard/shop/corena/index.htm)

Fili-Swiss – So proof at last of the long suspected, but hitherto invisible, tie up between the very small people of the Philippines and the Gnomes of Zurich.

Mary, Untier of Knots – Possibly the most obscure name I’ve seen to date, certainly right up there with “Hardboard”.

Naff–off – which just about sums up any Manila taxi driver's attitude towards prospective punters. Displays a refreshing honesty though, don’t you think?

Acne-Boy – oh dear.

Carrot – opens up the opportunity for a plethora of vegetable based taxi firm names.

Bimbo-Trans – actually pretty appropriate for a cab plying its trade in Malate and Ermita.

Bos-tik – any ideas?

PRINGESS ANNE – nope, that’s not a typo on my part!

Lady Dragon –obviously met Madam.

Sky in the Window – what?

Jerm – presumably someone’s name, rather than a description of back seat wildlife

WW2 General – Hirohito or MacArthur though?

Tutti Frutti – you’ve been rooted!