Letter from Manila - Santol - of course!

Considering that it may get a tad warmer over there than here in Blighty he probably feels a lot cooler too.

Careful though George or you might slide into MX5 driving, poodle parlour ownership!

The longer term plan is for a lowrider, like this...


                                   Shih Tzu, Layin' Frame!

but that may take a day or two now.

Yes, got to be cooler, especially as we're now in the hottest part of the year as we wind up for a new typhoon season. That reminds me, we better think of some way of lashing him down on the balcony or he'll be gone!

As to a grooming parlour, it's possible, but I reckon there's a nice little sideline to go with it. "Here you are Mrs Shanchez, that'll be one dollar for Cutie-Pie's haircut and may I interest you in this handy little book of canine recipes, 'A Hundred and One Ways to Enjoy Your Dog"? A snip at only five dollar"

Lets face it, with the price of MX5s here, I'll need every penny I can get!

You may, or may not, be aware that it is currently the school summer holiday here in the ol' Republic and being as we've had no notification from school as to when this ends, I have no idea how long they are off for.  The one thing you can guarantee is that it will start before the typhoon season, so they can have plenty of closures! 

Anyway, I've cooked up an idea to kill a morning and it's something I've fancied doing for a while. A trip on the Pasig River Bus. Good eh? However, as with all things Philippine, a certain amount of pre-planning is needed.

For those of you that don't know, the Pasig is a delightful and picturesque waterway that flows gently through the environs of the capital from the lake of Laguna de Bay to Manila Bay, emptying out between the Manila Container Terminal (that really needs a railway - don't ask) and Manila South Port. Actually, apart from the last bit, that entire sentence was a lie and by the time it reaches the sea, I reckon a boat is unnecessary as you could probably walk across it. But, in the same way I like trains, river boats also let you see parts of a city that wouldn't ordinarily be visible even though, in this case, it may not be a pretty sight.

So where to begin?

First things first, let's have a look at the boats themselves...



Doesn't look too shabby, does it?

Then you realise that this is the type of boat used the last time the ferry ran, before it went tits up in 2011, so now what you have is these...




Which went into service in 2014 when it restarted.

"Hang on" you cry, "that looks like someone's just stapled an old bus onto a boat" and a very astute observation you will have made as well. For that is indeed, exactly what it is. Apparently the original ones are mouldering away somewhere upriver. As an aside, Manila's Mayoral motto is "Forwards Ever, Backwards Never". So that's working well then. 

Okay, so having seen your intended mode of transport, where can we get one from? This I already know, as the seawards terminal happens to be Plaza Maxico, see?



This is handily situated behind the immigration building in Intramuros, so I've seen it when having a snout whilst awaiting visas. Brilliant, handy for Malate, there's secure parking and plenty of good choices for lunch when we get back. So far, so good.

Next, onto Google for 'Pasig River Ferry Timetable'. Poor deluded fool.

This request directs me to two possible sources of information. The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority, who oversee operations and Wikipedia, that font of all knowledge.

Gotta be MMDA, right? They run the bloody things. This site helpfully tells me how much the fares are (or were in 2014), it also tells me that the first service is 6am, the last being 4.15pm, although there's an uncorroborated rumour that's been extended to 6pm. It also gives me an out of date list of ferry stations, 7 instead of the 11 it now boasts, but absolutely no intermediate departure times, not even 'hourly' or whatever. It doen't even tell you how long the end-to-end journey time is. Amazing when you think that MMDA is currently actively encouraging users to commute via ferry rather than road. A little clue as to how would be useful, but no, like Manila taxi fares, shrouded in mystery. Although, after the licence caper, I really should have known better than to expect anything of any use on a government website.

How's about Wiki then? Well, if I had wanted to get one in 2007, then fine. Nine years later, not so much.

So now I'll have to drive down to Intramuros to see if there's a timetable at the station, then, if there is, work out if the trip is feasible in terms of return times. This is not because we'll be in a rush, but that the thought of sharing a small water craft with two hungry Filipinas does not bear countenance. In addition, the intermediate stops do not look like the sort of places an ageing White Guy and two pretty teenage girls really want to be getting off for a food hunt.

So basically, the whole feasibility of the trip revolves around food. Is the duration short enough, having shovelled breakfast into them, to get the 13 kms each way, and back to Intramuros in time for lunch, before they start eating seats and things? Basically, unless I can assure them of a good (read Large) and more importantly, timely lunch, then the whole thing's a non-starter.

And that's the one thing I cannot, so far, promise.

Nobody said it would be easy! 

Oh goody, Road Trip!

P.

The more you tell us about Manila the more it sounds like a modern version of Terry Pratchett's Ankh-Morpork. The people, the bureaucracy, the bumbling policemen, the infrastructure and now finally a river, like the mighty Ankh, that can catch fire in the summer heat

God I'm slow. I'm a huge reader, but for some reason I'd managed to completely miss the blindingly obvious similarities between Ankh-Morpork and Manila. They are indeed, one and the same!

Well spotted.

Klax towers?...

It was the Thieves Guild what done it! But fear not dayuhan cos Manila's finest i.e. Sergeant Fred Colon-Sanchez and Corporal Cecil Wormborough St. John "Nobby" Nobbs-Sanchez are hot on the case, mumping drinks from bars and avoiding promising leads. I take it they never found the perps?

You know what, after I wrote that I realised klax was probably too efficient!