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Or members of the genital public as I would prefer to have it....
Do you find that they just can't resist coming up to you and talking rubbish or making "witty" comments? Kinda like driving an older or modified car is an invitation, like wearing a t-shirt that says "No, really I have nothing better to do with my life that talk to idiots and here the same lame wit over and over again, thank you for making my life complete"
So here's a list of things I really can do without hearing, or being asked, and I'm sure you all have a similar list if the public where you are is anything like it is here.
1. Thats big innit? (no, its very small, however a large droplet of water suspended in the atmosphere is in front of your eyes causing a magnifying effect)
2. Yeah, you own a petrol company or something? (yes, in fact I am the principal share holder of Exxon, I sometime enjoy slumming it, thats why I am here)
3. Yeah, bet thats like does like 3 MPG dunnit. (I either agree that it does or claim it doe 40 MPG, "no really", depending on my mood, alternatively just ignore the prat)
4. Yeah, but ya can't see to overtake nuffing can ya. (of course not, I drive everywhere without ever chaning lanes. Prick)
5. Yeah, bet that dunt handle duz it, won't go round no cornerz. (says the chimp who just got out of a barry'd up Corsa with 20s on it, or even more amusing when some old duffer at a car show who drove in in a A60 starts banging on about your handling...)
6. Get a proper car loser! (is my car improper? Did it make an over familiar comment to you before you were formally introduced? Or better yet fvck off and die)
7. Your cars well rusty innit. (thanks, I hadn't noticed, now fvck off)
8. Yer could ave get an Audi A4 or Beemer Free seereez for the money you wasted on that sh*t. (You could have got a Trans Am and a Toyota CROWN for the money you wasted on your A4, fuggwit)
9. How much did it cost, no reallyy how much , and how much dod that cost and whats it worth... (who cares, when was this about money! fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuchk oooooooooooooofffff)
10. My mates got a Civic / Scooby / Skyline / BMW faster than that (well, bully for him, you ride a tatty BMX. Why not go suck your mates dick some more loser and come back when you got a car to talk smack about)
11. Young man, there seems to be something wrong with your suspension.
12. Young man there seems to be something wrong with your exhaust (you're right I can still hear you moaning!)
13. Thats not legal, thats not legal, those are illegal, my mate says thats not legal, you can't run them on the street you know. (unless this is a copper, just punch their lights out. If its a copper, then you're screwed)
14. Worst car ever made, I had one of these, it was rubbish. Engine fell out. Bet yours has an all, has it, no, well it will do. the yalll d, famous for it they were, Absolute curse word they were.
etc.
Any other favourites from the forum?
I have had some great ones from the occasional what. "big V8s like this will pass anything on the road but a petrol station" made me chuckle the first time I heard it. But a mate of mine says it EVERY time we even mention the car, along with "fires once every lamp post"
I also had a fella yell "pull in your main sail captain!" which made me laugh, as do any ORIGINAL nautical/land yahct themed ones.
"Thats the one that escaped from Podders" (podders is the local scrappies)
and "is that the 'before' or 'after' in the Podders advert?"
etc.
one time can be amusing.
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Last Edit: Apr 2, 2007 10:45:13 GMT by akku
1941 Wolseley Not Rod - 1956 Humber Hawk - 1957 Daimler Conquest - 1966 Buick LeSabre - 1968 Plymouth Sport Fury - 1968 Ford Galaxie - 1969 Ford Country Squire - 1969 Mercury Marquis - 1970 Morris Minor - 1970 Buick Skylark - 1970 Ford Galaxie - 1971 Ford Galaxie - 1976 Continental Mark IV - 1976 Ford Capri - 1994 Ford Fiesta
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Haha, quality!
'You're cars rubbArsh' is the most familiar. Usually yelled by brats on bikes. I did get told by one little oik in my street that my BMW was old and curse word. Which coming from an 11-year-old whose obese pube-headed mother drives a rusty Rover 214 is a bit much.
When I had the Sceptre, it seemed to attract wierdo's like a turd attracts flies. Mostly giffers telling me that 'In it's day that was a really special car - very upmarket'. Which is nice, but only for the first 1,187 times you hear it. Then is starts to drive you mad.
What riles me even more are the 'boy racers' when you are working on your car driving past repeatedly with a scowl on their face and their music up too loud. If you want to know what I'm doing, come and ask. Otherwise fvck off!!
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When I had the Sceptre, it seemed to attract wierdo's like a turd attracts flies. Mostly giffers telling me that 'In it's day that was a really special car - very upmarket'. Which is nice, but only for the first 1,187 times you hear it. Then is starts to drive you mad. Or the total tard who comes up to you and starts telling you how his dad had one just like this when he was a kid, and it was great and he'd really like one, and his dads was just like this (alternatively this was his first car or similar story). Then he starts telling you his (dads) was a bit different and before long you realise the guy is either talking complete arze or has no idea that his car was a Cortina and the car he is looking at is a Viva... I've had a guy who'd dad had a HA Viva with 3 speed column change (never offered) 2 door Victor coupe (never made) "very rare factory prototype" V8 Cortina, HA Viva 4 door, etc etc What riles me even more are the 'boy racers' when you are working on your car driving past repeatedly with a scowl on their face and their music up too loud. If you want to know what I'm doing, come and ask. Otherwise fvck off!! Used to get that a bit at the old house - or people standing at the end of the drive about 5 foot from where I was working, staring at me like I was on TV or something, talking amongst themselves about me like i couldn't hear them. "Do any of these ever move?" "I think its some kind of scrap business" "That one actually looked OK when it arrived here now look at it" "Whats he taken that off for" "I don't like those wheels" "He's not painting it THAT Colour is he?" "Maybe he hope MTV will pimp his ride" etc etc etc
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1941 Wolseley Not Rod - 1956 Humber Hawk - 1957 Daimler Conquest - 1966 Buick LeSabre - 1968 Plymouth Sport Fury - 1968 Ford Galaxie - 1969 Ford Country Squire - 1969 Mercury Marquis - 1970 Morris Minor - 1970 Buick Skylark - 1970 Ford Galaxie - 1971 Ford Galaxie - 1976 Continental Mark IV - 1976 Ford Capri - 1994 Ford Fiesta
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bstardchild
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 14,937
Club RR Member Number: 71
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Any other favourites from the forum? Normally directed at the Monza- Manta - Right? Replies range from "yep - your knowledge is astounding" (with FOAD under my breath) to "Yeah but it's a shame they couldn't get the spelling on the tailgate right" - does it cause your ears to bleed Nope I'm inside when the engines running - it's quieter there Normally directed at the Carlton- It's a replica right? "yep - all it has under the bonnet is a 1.8 carbed engine" (If I say no it invites an hours lecture on how his uncles brothers friends cousin built them all etc etc )
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Seth
South East
MorrisOxford TriumphMirald HillmanMinx BorgwardIsabellaCombi
Posts: 15,538
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Hey! I've never done that! "Is that a Standard Vanguard?" I've had it said to me before (about the Sun-Tor...) and then again about 20 minutes ago while unloading a bunch of rubbish at the council tip! "Grease" has been shouted at me numerous times when driving the Oxford. Like that has anything to do wtih it. I've never even seen the film all the way through
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Follow your dreams or you might as well be a vegetable.
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I'm not even going there what they say about the skoda LOL
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minbin
Part of things
it's work in progress...
Posts: 35
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I have gotten lots of kids yelling "it's like Mr Beans car!" lately! And one bloke who's wife said to him "it's smaller than yours" he drove a corsa. Up here i get laughed at by boy racers, back home i get respect. Jokes on them boy racers if my new engine works out
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Ether
Posted a lot
Posts: 4,450
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I hate it when people pick at the rust on my cars while telling me 'you should really get that sorted, mate.' Oh really? Should I get it sorted? Is that what I should do? Wow, that's incredibly helpful. Now, if you would kindly replace the handfulls of CRXoxide you've just pulled from my car.
Also, while with someone that owned a retro on a London housing estate, I heard 'Oi, you in the white! You got a banger.'
Brilliant.
With the Mercedes I AWLAYS got 'that's a bit of a pimpmobile, isn't it?' Yes, yes it is. Although that doesn't bother me too much.
Or...
Fool: 'They're V8's, aren't they?'
Me: 'No, it's a four-cylinder 2.3.'
Fool: 'You sure?' At which point he's staring at the four-pot because I've opened the bonnet to prove it.
Me: 'Positive.'
Fool: 'Nope, definitely a V8. I had one when they first came out, V8 it was.'
Me: 'Oh, well. If you had one when it first came it out and it definitely was a V8, although having chatted to the chap who built W123s at the factory in Stuttgart who told me that there were only ever three made for the German police, you're probably right.'
Fool: 'Yeah, definitely a V8. Bit of a pimpmobile, innit?'
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Last Edit: Apr 2, 2007 11:27:54 GMT by Ether
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you get used to feckwits driving an imp trust me. and its usually the same line too... my mum/dad/uncle/sperm donor and one of these and it overheated/leaked/broke down and he/she/it sold it/scrapped it coz it was curse word/rubbish/rusty. occasionally i get accosted in the paper shop by some nice old gent or lady who likes my car but usually spoils it by asking "did your grandad give it to you?"
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SOunds like you get the same caliber of pratz I do
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1941 Wolseley Not Rod - 1956 Humber Hawk - 1957 Daimler Conquest - 1966 Buick LeSabre - 1968 Plymouth Sport Fury - 1968 Ford Galaxie - 1969 Ford Country Squire - 1969 Mercury Marquis - 1970 Morris Minor - 1970 Buick Skylark - 1970 Ford Galaxie - 1971 Ford Galaxie - 1976 Continental Mark IV - 1976 Ford Capri - 1994 Ford Fiesta
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I mostly get;
"You don't see many of them around anymore."
"I/My, brother/uncle/mate had one of those back in the 70's"
"What's in that then?" (asking about engine size) "two point four litre straight six on twins carbs mated to an S130 5speed transmission." *raised eyebrows* "Goes alright then?" "Yeah... does the trick."
^^ I've had that conversation about 3 times in as many weeks.
"So, what is it?"
"Nice Charger"
"Do a skid"
and my favourite would be the lady at Repco;
"I need a (insert item here) for my Skyline" "What year is it?" "1973" "They didn't make Skyline's then" (quite matter of factly) "That's odd isn't it, I've got one in the car park and they made them almost twenty years prior to my version."
Generally the people who would make the more stupid comments, look at me... look at their mates, look back at me, then end up muttering something to their mates.
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Skyline: 1963 - 1973 - 1983 Sunny: 1982 450SLC: 1973 Navara: 1992 Gloria: 1992
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like you're the one that doesn;t know anything , but you're the one with the car... Yeah, I see that.
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1941 Wolseley Not Rod - 1956 Humber Hawk - 1957 Daimler Conquest - 1966 Buick LeSabre - 1968 Plymouth Sport Fury - 1968 Ford Galaxie - 1969 Ford Country Squire - 1969 Mercury Marquis - 1970 Morris Minor - 1970 Buick Skylark - 1970 Ford Galaxie - 1971 Ford Galaxie - 1976 Continental Mark IV - 1976 Ford Capri - 1994 Ford Fiesta
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Capri - Professionals remarks, like those. Minder remarks, ok with those, could do without the Del boy comments.
I`m fed up of people telling me to rip the XR4`s guts out and install them in the Capri, like it would be easy, and why would I want to have one 4x4 car instead of a 4x4 car AND a RWD car? (This usually follows on from them finding out the Capri is not a 2.8, cos they're the only ones worth saving, right?)
I know what you mean about lying to avoid lectures, sometimes I`ll deny ownership if the guy comes across as a bit of a windbag with too much time on his hands.
It would be nice to try it on a few peole with moderns:
Rover 45 - "You havent heard, then? RangeRover sport - "I`d like to buy some drugs, please" Lotus Elise - "I can`t get windows XP to boot up" Vectra- "not today, thank you" TVR - "I have assaulted someone and I need a solicitor"
Terrible stereotypes I know but i`d be a laugh`n that.
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Alain
Part of things
Dance monkey boy, dance!
Posts: 372
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I spent a year working at IBM in Pompey...
Obviously, as you would expect of a large blue chip company, most employees liked to arrive in a nice, new, 'well respected', modern vehicle...
I'd say at least 4 days a week I'd get comments along the lines of 'Oi Hippy boy!' (when I was using a satin black T25 panel van) or 'Why don't you get a normal car? Which I think answers it's self.... Do I look like I want to drive a normal car? have a straightened my hair with some new GHDs or recently mentioned what's fashionable?
There is a great big roundabout just outside the entrance to the office car park, which made for some great drifting in the van ;D
The only car I had whilst I was down there which didn't last too long was my '81 Audi 80. I offered to take a pretty damn hot girl out for lunch....so we jumped in my 'slightly' lowered Audi. Unfortunately I hadn't had it long, and wasn't aware of how it probably wouldn't mix well with a multi story car park ;D
*CRRRRRRRRRRUNCH, BANG, SCRAPE, KKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRCH*
Her - 'Does it normally do that?' Me - 'Erm, yeah...it's just a bit low' *Get's out car* Her - 'What you doing now?' Me - 'Oh, nowt, just checking my fuel lines are still there' ;D
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'74 Type 181 - Undergoing 'resto' (albeit friggin' slowly! 2 years and counting...) Wedge Panel Van GTi (Still needs finishing) '85 Passat GL5 Estate (Now Breaking) '87 Passat GLS5 Estate (Daily Hack)
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It would be nice to try it on a few peole with moderns: Rover 45 - "You havent heard, then? RangeRover sport - "I`d like to buy some drugs, please" Lotus Elise - "I can`t get windows XP to boot up" Vectra- "not today, thank you" TVR - "I have assaulted someone and I need a solicitor" LMAO MGF - "short back & sides please" etc.
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1941 Wolseley Not Rod - 1956 Humber Hawk - 1957 Daimler Conquest - 1966 Buick LeSabre - 1968 Plymouth Sport Fury - 1968 Ford Galaxie - 1969 Ford Country Squire - 1969 Mercury Marquis - 1970 Morris Minor - 1970 Buick Skylark - 1970 Ford Galaxie - 1971 Ford Galaxie - 1976 Continental Mark IV - 1976 Ford Capri - 1994 Ford Fiesta
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Did you inherit it?
I think Mad magazine should run a Snappy answers for stupid retro motoring questions comic strip
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Members of the general public.Robinxr4i
@robinxr4i
Club Retro Rides Member 143
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When I had my XR4i, I kept getting the same wonky eyed weirdo ask me if it was a replica...............
Fooking idiot the 6 light body shell used for the XR4i was unique to the XR4i (and XR4ti in america) why would you go to the bother?
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Sierra - here we go again! He has an illness, it's not his fault.
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Towtruck drivers: I haven't picked up one of these for years/ever Last week's towtruck driver (I'm smartly dressed): You stink of petrol mate
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like you're the one that doesn;t know anything , but you're the one with the car... Yeah, I see that. Oh that reminds me though. I had a plonker who was adament my car was infact a Datsun 180B and he actually got offended when I told him he was mistaken. No, it didn't have a four cylinder and yes, it came with a six from factory. "OH BUT I DID MY APPRENTICESHIP AT DATSUN" .. "Well you didn't pay fcuk all attention, OR know what you were doing then did you?" .. Yeah, he lost his rag right about then. Much to my amusement. ;D
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Skyline: 1963 - 1973 - 1983 Sunny: 1982 450SLC: 1973 Navara: 1992 Gloria: 1992
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bstardchild
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 14,937
Club RR Member Number: 71
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Moderns - my favoite throwaway line
BMW 3 series compact - "nice Astra mate"
I honestly does look like an Astra!!
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