1995 Range Rover P38 4.6 HSE - Cool Running

Whilst awaiting my brake parts to arrive, in the meantime I'm just driving the '38 when I need to, with no real issues at the moment. But to keep me occupied, it was time to service Madam's hateful Toyota Fortuner. Some time back, you may remember a little run in with the local dealer regards charging for stuff that wasn't done. Well, they obviously didn't listen. In addition, Madam had sneaked it in there for another service without telling me. Anyway, it's now out of warranty and I told her, "no more". It'll all be done in-house.

Ran it round to the local We Changee Oil place where fresh oil and filter was installed. Now I know diesels dirty their oil pretty quickly and in these temperatures, oil runs thin, but black water? Rubbing some between my fingers I could feel no remaining lubricating properties at all. Whilst it was up in the air, we greased up the propshaft joints for the first time since it left the factory.So that done, we brought it home and did fuel and air filters. Now, I change the '38 air filter around every 2-3000 kms due to the amount of dust and pollutants floating around the city. There shouldn't be any now though, it was all in the Toyota's! If that was done 5,000 kms ago I'll show my arris in Burton's window. It was caked with the stuff! I'm surprised it could breathe at all. Checked brakes and various fluid levels and they were fine.

So fully serviced as per the 20,000 km schedule at a total cost of 5,000 Peso (70 quid) and a short mornings work, as opposed to Toyota who charged her 15,000 Peso for the last one, kept it all day and, by the looks of things, didn't actually do very much. When this was pointed out to Madam, she finally admitted that I may actually have had a point kicking off about the dealers!

I got her driver involved and let him loose with a gun again. Fortunately this one only had grease in it, so even he couldn't do much harm!

Gobsmacked (if that's not an indelicate term in the circs) that he's still employed!!!

Or is shooting the boss in the face just 'one of those things' in the Phillies?!

Cheers

M

I would just like to thank George from my wife and I for a good afternoon out.

Whilst the new year brings new hopes and challenges for all, both in the areas of vehicles and personal lives, this year I have decided to set the bar as high as I can get it.

You may remember that in 2015, the annual registration process of the '38 took eight months in total and guess what? Yep, today's the day. My sole ambition for 2016 is to walk out of the LTO this morning with my new registration sticker. Will it happen? Gawd knows, but if it does, I'm taking the rest of the year off!

And well you might!

So, how did we get on?

It's probably worth repeating the process here, both for them's that missed it last time and those who moan about the UK system.

You arrive at the crack of dawn, well, 7am as that's when the emissions testers turn up. You are first in the queue.

Sit in the testing "bay" whilst the little chappie gets his coat off, has a brew and sets his gear up. Gentlemen, start your engines. He sticks his tester up her exhaust, a practice I somehow find a little degrading. He then has his photograph taken and disappears into his hut. This is the result...




Step one complete.

Interesting to note that emission limits for motors make no concession as to cc, purely age of registration and the limits on mine for CO2 are 4.5% and 800 for HC. The old '38 came in at 0.21 and 130 respectively, so well under. I've recently run a dose of injector cleaner through and just replaced the air filter, coupled with a quick thrash up and down Roxas Boulevard pre-test this morning, so the results are quite pleasing.

Next up, insurance. Never mind that at great expense you have purchased a fully comprehensive policy, you have to buy specific 3rd party insurance at the test centre. This costs around twenty quid and takes an hour whilst a girl types, yes types, out the policy document. I've never bothered reading it but it's probably just as well it's there as I'm guessing that it's all that 75% of vehicles ever have!

So, now it's time for the dreaded road-worthiness test itself. This consists of a very helpful chap (no sarcasm intended, they really are good guys) taking a pencil rubbing of your chassis and engine numbers onto a form, or it would do but he decided that he couldn't be arsed with the latter, buried as it is and just checked the VIN instead. The vehicle should then undergo a test similar to the MOT. Not in Malate it doesn't, they have no facilities for that, so now you are done and passed!

Finally you are permitted to enter the portals of the LTO office itself. Your forms are evaluated at the door and you recieve them back with instructions to go to Window 7 to have them erm, evaluated. There's no-one at Window 7 but you obediently place yours by the window. Two more people do the same. Nothing happens.

After a while, an LTO man talks to a security guard who then goes over to the small pile at Window 7 and moves them to Window 6. There's no-one at Window 6. There is a guy at Window 8, but no-one gives him anything. Nice work if you can get it. Nothing happens.

About 20 minutes later, an Evaluator finally turns up at Window 6 and your paperwork disappears. 

This next bit is a tad tricky. You see not only can you register your vehicle here, you can also renew your driving licence (if you have one!). What this means is that you have a tannoy calling people to go to Window 1 for licence applications, a man shouting at the front of the office handing out completed licences and another tannoy calling people to the cashier, all in a very small space. It can get a bit loud and often both tannoys are talking over each other. Now the bit we are interested in is the cashier or, to give it the proper title, Window 9, as this is where we pay our dues and are given the Official Receipt, or O.R., without which we can do nothing further. As they always mispronounce my surname and George tends to get a bit mangled, what with a Philippine accent and distorted speakers, I am forced to listen out for my middle name as that's the only bit they tend to get right.

After no little time, I pick the word "William" out of the cacophony and head over to pay the fee. I recieve my OR and am told to proceed to Window 10. This is the Holy Grail of the whole place. It's where you are rewarded for your previous fortitude by the issue of you brand new, 2106, registration sticker. At this point, I'm feeling pretty high. For the first time in four three (it just seems like more) renewal attempts, will I walk away with my prize, so richly deserved? With baited breath I pass the OR through the window and receive...



Yes, "We no hab sticker"

FAIL!!!

So what happens now? Well, it's now 11 o'clock so we do the only sensible thing and retire, hurt, to Café Adriatico for some comforting cold San Migs. What else?

I'll get Madam to call in a few weeks. Possibly

So close yet so far..

Sticker due in about May based on the previous success rate?

Imagine if that was Britain and they had no stickers...

The sticker office would be in chaos because nobody would know what to do in the event of having no stickers. Despite the fact that it happened last week and the week before. Hundreds of managers would be having crisis meetings trying to work out what to do. They'd be searching through procedures and workflows looking for the 'no stickers' event only to find that nobody imagined that they'd ever run out.

The sticker enforcement companies ("we are proud to work in partnership with, er, anybody really - so long as we can make a profit") would be running round clamping all the cars without stickers. And "If you've been unfairly clamped - we'll help you claim" adverts would be all over the Independent TV channels.

On the BBC's 6 O'clock news Huw Edwards would have his most somber voice on (and he sounds suicidal reading an upbeat story) telling us how dreadful it is that there are no stickers. "But now we hand you to our corespondent in the Caribbean where the Managing Director of Sticker Production is on holiday"... Cut to a smug journalist having a go at some sunburned, over paid, over weight bloke in tight trunks...

At Prime Minister's Question Time in 'The House' - "Under the last Government sticker availability was 79.6 percent, this lack of stickers is due to this government's lack of investment in..."



But in the Philippines...
They expect to have no stickers and have a stamp to cover the eventuality. Utterly brilliant. Long live the people of Manila!
Although from what I read about their use of fireworks that seems unlikely.

George, well done for getting that far. We are proud of you!

James

What happens if you just ignore the whole debacle and drive without a sticker George?

It'd take them about 8 months to possibly catch on, and then the following four months, you're only allowed to drive for about half of that time if memory serves me correctly?
So only running the risk for about two months!