i started to come with this whilst being chauffeured round essex, the pancake county... lol! feel free to add supplements and amendments...
The Retro Warranty
Heretofor referred to as 'The Warranty'. This is neither implied nor given, it simply exists and merely applies if you deem it applicable to your non-warranted ride.
The Warranty entitles you to a replacement car in the event of breakdown, accident damage whether caused by you or a third party, boredom, or the need for a spares car, or the fact you don't like the fact it uses flat head screws on the window winder and you like philips head screws, or any other such severe circumstances similar to aforementioned that justify the need for another car of equal value, or less value or more value, or no value. A replacement car is available to you at all times. You may browse the available options at any time at your convenience, on www.ebay.co.uk. There is of course a service charge for your replacement car, payable in one lump sum through Paypal.com.
The Warranty, in almost all circumstances, warrants that your car will fail you at the most crucial moment possible. All endeavour will be made to make it publicly embarrassing also. At this point it is advisable to have alternative transport available.
The Warranty ensures that 94% coverage of people who don't understand your ethos will be made available at all stopping points, carparks, housing developments and everywhere else. If you opt for the higher grade Warranty to cover "rat-styled" vehicles, a 99% coverage can be guaranteed, and you will benefit from the extra shouting in the street, enragement of flat-cap donning boff's and wild howls of people who have mundane lives. The Warranty ensures your rolling burnout at the lights whilst undergoing such subjection will be spectacular and you will be given much praise from your comrades once the incident has been related on a public internet messageboard.
The Warranty includes as section 4 the rule of "Sod's Law" and "Murphy's Law".
actually, i'm really tired, finish it off peeps!
The Retro Warranty
Heretofor referred to as 'The Warranty'. This is neither implied nor given, it simply exists and merely applies if you deem it applicable to your non-warranted ride.
The Warranty entitles you to a replacement car in the event of breakdown, accident damage whether caused by you or a third party, boredom, or the need for a spares car, or the fact you don't like the fact it uses flat head screws on the window winder and you like philips head screws, or any other such severe circumstances similar to aforementioned that justify the need for another car of equal value, or less value or more value, or no value. A replacement car is available to you at all times. You may browse the available options at any time at your convenience, on www.ebay.co.uk. There is of course a service charge for your replacement car, payable in one lump sum through Paypal.com.
The Warranty, in almost all circumstances, warrants that your car will fail you at the most crucial moment possible. All endeavour will be made to make it publicly embarrassing also. At this point it is advisable to have alternative transport available.
The Warranty ensures that 94% coverage of people who don't understand your ethos will be made available at all stopping points, carparks, housing developments and everywhere else. If you opt for the higher grade Warranty to cover "rat-styled" vehicles, a 99% coverage can be guaranteed, and you will benefit from the extra shouting in the street, enragement of flat-cap donning boff's and wild howls of people who have mundane lives. The Warranty ensures your rolling burnout at the lights whilst undergoing such subjection will be spectacular and you will be given much praise from your comrades once the incident has been related on a public internet messageboard.
The Warranty includes as section 4 the rule of "Sod's Law" and "Murphy's Law".
actually, i'm really tired, finish it off peeps!