MWF
Posted a lot
Posts: 2,945
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I hate to admit it but I do like a matt black bonnet  A friend me once raced a Chav in a Saxo who spooned into a kerb writing off his car. When they all got out a young lad in the car said "He's a good driver tho aint he? I was in a crah with him the other week and he didn't roll it then either!" |
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Theres a big difference between a matt black bonnet on a classic and a gloss black bonnet on a modern J car though
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 What the hell is the deal with this cack: It could have been done so much nicer soo much cheaper! 1. Fog-lights: Why fit two sets of cack, badly aimed ones when a trip to the scrappy would have rewarded a post-95 deep front bumper with built in fogs. Tool. 2. Bonnet Scoop. Why do you need all this cooling? We've had 4 Mk2 and Mk3 Astra's and they've all run too COLD if anything....Muppet. 3. Bee-sting ariel. So why spend several hours moving this from the flush mounting on the side, filling up the whole and sticking it on top? If you were worried about it getting broke: An electric ariel kit costs £20 and took me 20 mins to fit to ours a couple of weeks ago. 4. F1-style filler cap: Assuming this isn't actaully just a sticker, its a lot of effort to go to, and unlikely to be wired into the existing Central Locking. curse word. 5. As this is a series 1, it's not gonna have a decent engine - I'd put money on the 1400 hi-torque which (from experience) revs like a truck engine (SLOWLY) and struggles to get much above a ton. Fool. |
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Last Edit: Oct 8, 2004 14:22:12 GMT by nickb
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Davenger
Club Retro Rides Member
It's only metal
Posts: 7,272
Club RR Member Number: 140
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Chav style?
Isn't that an oxymoron?
Well, it's some kind of moron
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Do you get the trend of everyone putting carbon fibre bonnets on their cars because they're so much lighter than the stock bonnet so make your car way faster and its not for looks at all  Then theres the stupider thing of painting your stock bonnet black so it looks like carbon fibre (no the 1970s reason so you don't get glare when your rallying your escort ) if you look closely at these carbon bonnets you will notice that they are covers that go over the stock bonnet  yep much lighter NOT!!! ;D ;D ;D |
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Try here www.chavscum.co.uk. Why are Chavs like slinkies? They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs. ;D |
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Last Edit: Oct 8, 2004 13:01:13 GMT by Jack
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Found this on google.  |
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Last Edit: Oct 8, 2004 13:12:16 GMT by iRocco
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Nathan
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 5,626
Club RR Member Number: 1
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The retro rides guide to Chav styleNathan
@bgtmidget7476
Club Retro Rides Member 1
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I have to admit you did pic the worst chav cars to show, I am not a fan of Chav at all but if you look in recent times more and more are going for the sleeper look. I live in Notts and Its Chav central here every sunday night takes the curse word, but some of them are starting to relise the benefits of classics quite a few mk1 escorts and american muscle cars. hopefully they will see the light and dump the nova for a classic motor
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Shortcut
Posted a lot
I won't be there when you cross the road, so always use the Green Cross Code.
Posts: 3,037
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aaah Bad boy bonnets. I'd forgotten about them.
Also those stickers that you put over your square lights to make it look like you have quad headlamps.
Oi Chav boy... THERE IS NO SITUATION IN WHICH CUTTING DOWN THE AMOUNT OF LIGHT YOUR HEADLAMPS EMIT IS A GOOD IDEA. NONE. NOT...EVER
Unless it culls a few more chavs out. ;D
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This space available to rent. Reach literally dozens of people. Cheap rates!
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A selection of curse word, sorry Chav-mobiles:  Hmmm, what exactly is that exhaust doing? Also not the BTCC meshing in the back windows. Is this to stop the glass hitting him as people brick the windows shouting "curse word" as he drives past? And this:  Huge cheap bodykit, plus tiny wheels: It's not a good look. PS> That bodykit will make your free insurance invalid, mate. Utter wibblepoo. Note token SLAPPER in passenger seat of next car. Bet her hobbies include smoking and pregnancy.... And there's more!  You will all be pleased to know this moron lives near me! He once tried to out-do me on the A1 but ran out of puff up a hill. Please note, I was not in a BMW or anything flash, but my old Astra 1400. HA HA HA HA HA! More:  Words fail me. |
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More:  ^absolute toss^ At a guess I'd say the "spoiler" has lost an arguement with a speed hump. So that was a worthwhile investment then....  ^There should be laws against this!^ Take a cack car and make it cackker - in this instance they've tried to make it look like a Proton.... PS. Does anyone know the effect of slapping 17x8's on a Corsa - the steering is unfeasably heavy to begin with.... And, Laydeez and Gennlemen, I think we've hit the Jackpot! ![]() www.stupidnorthernmonkey.co.uk/045cav.jpg[/img] If any car every summed up CHAV so much this is it.... Noteworthy features are: >:(1. Unfeasably large sticker across top of windscreen. Double points awarded as it says "Max Power". >:(2. Indicators and sills appear to have been "colour-coded" (to WHAT, exactly) by the careful application of Dulux emulsion. Now we can only guess which way the traveller curse word is going to turn. (My money's on into McDonald's car park..) >:(3. Hideous graphics. Do yo think these were in the "Bargain Bin" at Halfords, on account of them being so wibblepoo? Do you really need that many? Are you over-compensating for something else? Is it being a 1.8 injection really something to shout about. (I'ts probably a 1400 anyway). >:(4. The colour code exhaust. Colour coded with red primer that is... >:(5. Three spokes. Gross. And missing the centre caps too. Looking good! >:(6. Delightful "ripple" effect on front wing. Caused by inability to judge proximity to speaker at drive-thru. I could go on and on, but I feel my brain is about to explode angrily out of my ears. There's no hope....  |
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Last Edit: Oct 12, 2004 12:41:35 GMT by iRocco
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If you are interested in other parts of their diverse culture try www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk it's a great laugh. It even has pictures of neddish silly-billies, and an A-Z of ned for kids of neds' bitches who are too busy smoking, being pregnant with their 15th kid before their 16th birthday, and being slack jawed to educate the little uns. .  |
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"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"
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SkoCan
Posted a lot
Quando omni flunkus, mortati
Posts: 1,916
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Seem to be missing some pics hmmm?
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Hmm look what I saw when I opened this thread.  ;D |
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^Yikes^ I've never really paid much attention to the adverts. For the missing pics from above, see: www.stupidnorthernmonkey.co.uk/and keep your eyes peeleed for a lurrvly M3 Chavalier They were there earlier....[glow=red,2,300]spooky![/glow] |
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Last Edit: Oct 9, 2004 7:35:18 GMT by nickb
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RetroMat
Posted a lot
Column Shifting!
Posts: 3,442
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Spied that one earlier myself - When it said it had been "dyked" I had visions of something unpleasant involving large ladies with an unhealthy interest in motorcycles ....then I saw it was in Lincolnshire. ;D |
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Shortcut
Posted a lot
I won't be there when you cross the road, so always use the Green Cross Code.
Posts: 3,037
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Pardon me whiel I come over all Gerald Durrell.
We were chatting about the whole Chav thing in the office and...
It's an all male display behaviour. Chav's are the human form of male Peacocks. A huge display that is essentially useless, a complete waste of rescources. The Chav is, in essence, saying to potential mates (Chavettes), I have so much spare money (virility), that I could be using to buy you fags, or give you babies that I can use it on this worthless and useless tat. Chav car displays are therefore targeted at females.
More sophisticated males (er us) create usable cars with working modifications, as we have developed other techniques for attracting mates (ie actually talking to girls). The Peacock equivalent would be not a huge tail but extra efficient wings etc. The working tuned car is essentially a male to male display and to impress other (knowledgable) males, the modifications must work. The better the mods the more respect and influence is generated in the community.
From this we can see that in fact the total uselessness of the Chav modifications are designed to attract the Chavette not other Chavs.
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This space available to rent. Reach literally dozens of people. Cheap rates!
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SkoCan
Posted a lot
Quando omni flunkus, mortati
Posts: 1,916
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From this we can see that in fact the total uselessness of the Chav modifications are designed to attract the Chavette not other Chavs. Are you positive? wink wink |
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Oct 12, 2004 12:39:39 GMT
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yep much lighter NOT!!! ;D ;D ;D
