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On the subject of minis, a mate had a 1275gt fitted with an Austin 1300 gt
engine, which went like stink. The fact we found out it was complete cooper s spec probably had something to do with it.
The exhaust was an LCB, a cherry bomb and a bit of scaffold. This thing was LOUD.
He got pulled up, what a surprise.
The conversation went something like;
Plod ' it's too loud'
Mate ' what?'
Plod 'ITS TOO LOUD!'
Mate' sorry, it's too loud. I'll switch it off'
He got a 14 day ' must pass a MOT check' producer, remember those?
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VIP
South East
Posts: 8,293
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I drove my imported Toyota CROWN fresh off the boat from Southampton to near Brooklands racetrack.
Was insured on the VIN, but no numberplates or anything. Sailed passed two police cars on the M3 who never even batted an eyelid.
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Paul Y
Posted a lot
Posts: 1,948
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Dec 17, 2021 10:01:16 GMT
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I drove my imported Toyota CROWN fresh off the boat from Southampton to near Brooklands racetrack. Was insured on the VIN, but no numberplates or anything. Sailed passed two police cars on the M3 who never even batted an eyelid. Did exactly the same with my C10 - thought for sure I was going to get done at the dartford crossing but, like you, sailed straight home.... P.  |
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Dec 17, 2021 11:13:58 GMT
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 Many moons ago, I may or may not have driven this Spitfire a few miles to have it painted. At the time of this journey it may or may not have had any lights/ glass/hood/interior ( apart from a drivers seat). I maybe or maybe not be an idiot for doing this, but I was 21 and did or did not know any better at the time. |
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Dec 17, 2021 11:15:55 GMT
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Had the same with the stolen recovered sd1 I mentioned in another thread, that was insured on the kit vin they gave it to.
Got ignored by plod driving for its MOT
Still think it'll be because you're too much hassle to deal with.
Edit- talking about no number plates, not stripped cars for painting... 😁
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Dec 17, 2021 12:18:27 GMT
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I had driven imports with no number plates many times...Until one night on the M1 in a white impreza turbo on my way back from an auction i came past the services and the police where waiting they pulled up behind me but didn't put the blues on so i carried on for a few more miles doubting myself about the kph to mph conversions i was doing in my head as i had slowed to just over 100kph kept checking my mirror no blue lights ....whats going on...a few miles past and i was just about to speed back up to normal M1 speeds when the now 3 police cars behind me form a rolling road block put on all the lights and sirens ...oops i indicate politely and pull onto the hard shoulder get out with all the japanese paper work ready to start the fast talking when i am grabbed by one police man and placed in the back of there car and one of the others talks into his radio....Cancel the helicopter we've got him...oh dear helicopters isn't good ...I answered all there questions embellished massively on my understanding of the rules in my favour they got confused told me the next county police are also waiting for me further down the M1 and i WILL be hearing from them as they are not sure what they are going to do me for but will be doing me for something. Definitely brown trouser time for a few weeks waiting for the letter to arrive but it never did and i never drove without number plates again ...well for a few years anyway.
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perf
Part of things
Posts: 35
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Oh. A couple of times...
A Ford Transit . Bought it. Drove it home 40miles. Then I discovered a diy driveshaft with out sliding and more rust.
Ford Mondeo . Girlfriend went off the road. Rolled it. Landed on the wheels in a field. I drove it 2miles home. Steering was interesting
Subaru Brat. Drove it home about 20 miles. Rear suspension rusted. They had fitted wooden blocks to clear wheels from chassis.
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In my slightly insane "mid-life" days, I drove an ex Old Bill V8 Sherpa, from which I had cut the GRP roof and all bodywork aft of the doors, from my workshop in Peldon, to a breakers in Colchester where a Luton body was placed on top of the original floor, "secured" with a ratchet strap, loaded with tools for a house project in France and spares for a French mate's Discovery, then all the way to the Normandy / Brittany / Pays de Loire border, using number plates borrowed from my own V8 Sherpa camper. It seemed perfectly reasonable at the time. No I wouldn't do the same again now that I have grown up; I was only about 53 then.
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In my slightly insane "mid-life" days, I drove an ex Old Bill V8 Sherpa, from which I had cut the GRP roof and all bodywork aft of the doors, from my workshop in Peldon, to a breakers in Colchester where a Luton body was placed on top of the original floor, "secured" with a ratchet strap, loaded with tools for a house project in France and spares for a French mate's Discovery, then all the way to the Normandy / Brittany / Pays de Loire border, using number plates borrowed from my own V8 Sherpa camper. It seemed perfectly reasonable at the time. No I wouldn't do the same again now that I have grown up; I was only about 53 then. Speaking as a 53 year-old, I think I can safely say that you were but a mere boy and hardly responsible for your own actions............ |
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In my slightly insane "mid-life" days, I drove an ex Old Bill V8 Sherpa, from which I had cut the GRP roof and all bodywork aft of the doors, from my workshop in Peldon, to a breakers in Colchester where a Luton body was placed on top of the original floor, "secured" with a ratchet strap, loaded with tools for a house project in France and spares for a French mate's Discovery, then all the way to the Normandy / Brittany / Pays de Loire border, using number plates borrowed from my own V8 Sherpa camper. It seemed perfectly reasonable at the time. No I wouldn't do the same again now that I have grown up; I was only about 53 then. Speaking as a 53 year-old, I think I can safely say that you were but a mere boy and hardly responsible for your own actions............ Exactly, one must always make allowances for youth.  |
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Back In the early nineties my mate needed parts for his toyota carina so we went to a local scrapyard to get said bits. At the yard the scrappy was more interested in getting shot of the whole car so £60 later, deal was done. No documents at all, no rear doors, no back glass, bootlid, no front wings & most of the interior missing we drove it home.
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Dec 18, 2021 17:07:12 GMT
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Back in about 88 my sister was going out with a reprobate who worked in a pub. His boss had a Rover SD1 with a dodgy MOT. The brakes were apparently non-existent and he had to slow using the handbrake.
One evening I was at the bus stop with my mate (I was 17 and was learning to drive) and my sis and Keith appeared, and asked if we wanted a lift. I went along for the ride, as I was going nowhere. We were driving down Swain House Road (in Bradford if you know it) which is a long straight road, going downhill, in a built up area.
He swerved to the opposite side of the road, narrowly missing a traffic island. He swerved back, then back again to the wrong side of the road. We suspected he was dicking around, but he later told us he lost control. (He was also a compulsive liar). He drove down Swain House Road like this, until the NSR hit a telegraph pole.
He swerved a couple more times before managing to slam the handbrake on in front of the chip shop. I got hit on my head by a wooden chock from the back of the car but we were all ok. The car was wrecked though. I walked off one way and my mate walked off the other, leaving Keith to sort out the car.
What I didn't see was a man come over to see Keith. Apparently his wife was walking down Swain House Road, and saw this out of control car flying down the road. She panicked, and saw the water board were doing maintenance, so she jumped down a hole they had dug. It was waist deep with water. He had come over to have a go at him for scaring his wife. She stood there in the background dripping (my sister confirmed this to be true).
Keith then rang his boss up and told him the car had been stolen.
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randomeddy
Part of things
Enter your message here...
Posts: 138 
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Dec 18, 2021 20:49:05 GMT
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I bought a BMW M535i E28 from Milton Keynes.
At the time my son had a courtesy car while his was in for some bodywork. He said the courtesy car was going back and he didn't want to use his for the journey there so I needed to make arrangements to collect the BMW soon.
I insured the BMW and we set off to collect it, the journey back was uneventful until we got a few miles from home, a police car appeared from a side road and started driving the same way as us.
Picture the scene, just after midnight, old car loaded up with parts and a spare set of wheels, young looking guy driving a new car, got to be worth a pull. My boy was doing 29 I was doing 32 trying to open up the gap a bit, it was working then we reached a big junction and a traffic car appeared to my right all lights going, the police car paused, seemingly not sure where he was going, but then set of the way we had just came from.
That was it, I was off along the local by-pass, not daft speeds but got my toe down, not far to go and home to safety. Made it OK and we still laugh about it now. The traffic car was definitely going looking for us but must have got a bit confused.
Me no MOT, no tax possibly voided the insurance? car confiscated? who knows.
D227 WJC where are you now.
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Have you been mis-sold TDi.
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bazzateer
Posted a lot
Imping along sans Vogue
Posts: 3,653
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Dec 18, 2021 20:52:12 GMT
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Back in the early 80s (I was about 16), a mate bought a Bond Bug from another friend. It was a wreck and needed full restoration having sat in a garden for several years.
I didn't drive it as such, I sat in it and steered while my mate towed it with his Triumph 2500S.
He was doing about 60 along the A27 in Fareham and I was crapping myself. I quickly discovered the brakes were less than operative but we managed to get it to his place in one piece.
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1968 Singer Chamois Sport
1972 Sunbeam Imp Sport
1976 Datsun 260Z 2+2
1998 Peugeot Boxer Pilote motorhome
2003 Rover 75 1.8 Club SE (daily)
2006 MG ZT 190+ (another daily)
2007 BMW 530d Touring M Sport (tow car)
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Dec 19, 2021 18:02:12 GMT
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When MK1 son bought his first series landy with his paperround money at the age of 14, we may* have towed it back about 2 miles on a bar with him steering, because it didn't have brakes 😁
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spacekadett
Part of things
F*cking take that Hans Brrix!!
Posts: 818
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Dec 19, 2021 18:47:09 GMT
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An Opel Manta I was given as a donor for my Kadett. Had been off the road for years and me and my long suffering mate arrived to find it sitting on four badly rotted and flat tyres, not enough wheel nuts, no battery leads, exhaust, a sagging floor pan and rust and pigeon poo welded axle mounts. None the less we bodged what we could, threw a battery on and I drove it to the farm, through the middle of town on a Saturday afternoon 😳. Did get some funny looks 😂.
Also a Mini pick up from the farm my dad worked on. I had it to mot, which it failed spectacularly. Turned the failure sheet over, pretended I hadn’t read it and carried on driving 😂
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Mechanic's rule #1... If the car works, anything left on the floor after you finished wasn't needed in the first place  |
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Dec 20, 2021 12:13:15 GMT
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We'd just moved into our current house and started doing it up, so decided we needed a cheap estate to do the Tip trips, fetch and carry materials etc.etc. bought a B5.5 passat with the mechanical injection 1.9 PD engine for the princley sum of £200 - it got duly named the Turkey Gatherer** more on this later. I day insured it and drove it back to the workshop (about 5 miles) with every window and the sunroof open as every door pocket, tray, flat surface and orifice on the car was filled with fag ash, it utterly STANK, got it started up on the sellers drive and floored it when after I pulled out on the Main A road the house fronted onto, Apparently the whole road was filled with a thick black/grey cloud of smoke, that lasted for about 1/4mile. Got it back to the workshop and we filled the dyson twice with the fag ash. swapped a rear caliper, topped it up with some random oil, draned the spare wheel well of water, drained the rear lights of water (drilled holes in them) and Some how the father-in-law got an mot on it. It was a utter shed, every bush was worn / rotten, I once tried to have a spirited drive down a country lane near us, it was the most hilarious yet terrifying experience I've had in a car, proper lottery what handling characteristic you'd get, Chronic understeer, Wild oversteer, a combination of both, understeer turning to oversteer and viceaversa. The drivers window stopped going up so was duly wedged up with a lump of wood, everytime you went over a bump the drivers side headlight & indicator fell out and dangled on its wires, the electric sunroof opened randomly, usually when curse word it down. and the drivers front brake would stick and smoke randomly. **turkey gatherer, a pulley on the serpentine belt was bent or the bearing was dead giving off a high pitched Goblegoblegoble noise that could be hears from several streets away. saved us a fortune on skips tho.  |
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Take the Next slot right coming up on the left.
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Dec 20, 2021 20:55:01 GMT
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Far too many to count, but a few examples. Circa 1972, Returning to England in an ancient Hillman Minx the brakes failed entirely in mid France. we had virtually no money and no spares (and no recovery) A Gendarme pulled up on a motorbike. My French is rubbish and he didn't speak English, but we explained, sort of, what had happened. He enquired with gestures and noises if the horn worked (WTF moment) I demonstrated, wherupon he instructed us to continue, using the horn for brakes. So we did. Once back on British soil, a Dover factors visit got us a wheel cylinder kit and a pint of brake fluid for a couple of quid. But we'd done over 250 miles in France with only handbrake and horn!
Several times have had partial or total brake failure on the rollers at MOT (not on my own cars) and still driven home 8 miles.
Did 35 miles on the M4 in pouring rain in SWMBO's first Herald with one arm out the window working a hand held wiper arm and blade.
Drove customer Alfasud Sprint 5 miles to the scrappy, the car was so rotten, the only thing holding the OSF topmount in was the bonnet catch.
My second car, a 63 FB Victor, was so lacking in sills and general structural integrity, that if you opened all 4 doors at once, you had to jack the middle of the car up to shut them again.
I could write a book!
Steve
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Dec 20, 2021 21:39:22 GMT
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Love the French horn story there carledo.
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pow
Part of things
Posts: 110
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Few that I will share on here, few that I wouldn't!
Drove my old E39 528i back from Belgium to West London with a throttle stuck open with very careful use of the clutch, it wasn't stuck all the way open, the butterfly in the throttle body was gunked up with 180k of curse word and lodged itself 1/3 of the way open. The thought of using european breakdown was offputting so I limped it using the gears (was a 5 speed manual) to select the cruising speed, mpg was down at something like 17 or 18. Got to the chunnel and managed to get my hand down there and free it off thinking great I'll get home on that, boarded the train using the clutch and 1st and 2nd gear only, got off the other end and within 3 pushes of the throttle it jammed again. Got home, took the TB off and cleaned it and never had a problem again with it, did another 10-12k and another trip to Germany in it.
Took my trailer to pick up a car for SWMBO however forgot the ramps (I never store them on the trailer not secure enough for my liking, they live in the garage and go in the boot when used) that was advertised spares and repairs on eBay. No amount of head scratching could get the car on there without a impending disaster and had driven 80 miles mostly around the M25 so I insured it on a day insurance and booked an MOT online and drove it home in a bit of a huff.
Not quite the same but towed the Puma to Cadwell Park and forgot to bring the ramps again (I have a system now!) but managed with the help of a grassy bank and borrowing some ramps from someone else to get it back on.
Driven a few things that you'd gone 'if i'd know I would never have done that' - my TDI converted T2 camper from Devon to West London with a blown wheel cylinder which bled the brakes dry and was piddling brake fluid all over the OSR wheel.
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