I died on the operating table and had a car related dream...

Haha, I loved the story and I loved the pics, and it all would have worked out fine if it weren't for these meddling kids!

Having to explain yourself reminds me of when I was on an art college foundation course in the late 80's. Everyone smoked then, particularly at art college. So I made a name for myself and became something of a legend for my seemingly magical ability to re-use spent matches. Anytime anyone needed a light they'd come to me surrounded by a crowd of fascinated onlookers. I'd tell them to find me a dead match - there was always one close by on the floor or in an ash tray - and I'd then strike it and light their roll-up with it.

Went on for a year. People I didn't even know would approach me, and then be left with their minds blown.

On the last day, when everyone was off to new colleges around the country, a bunch of people were asking me to do it one more time before we left. I did it a bunch of times, and then, feeling generous, I offered to explain how I did it. I thought it might be a good trick for them to use to break the ice on their degree courses.

So I told them how to do it. A parting gift.

They all stared at me. The look of awe I had got used to seeing steadily turned to that look people have when they're trying to scrape the worst kind of dog sh*t off their boots with a lollipop stick.

Instead of thanking me for the trick, they all responded by telling me I was the saddest sack in the entire college, and then they all walked away shaking their heads in pity.

( I used to buy boxes of matches, shave them thin with a scalpel, bend them, paint them brown and black and dip them in cigarette ash while wet. Then I made sure I always had a few close to hand which I would drop into ashtrays or by my feet if anyone looked likely to ask. Apparently that much effort just to blow people's minds was the act of a very sad man. I'd had a year of fame and entertainment out of it. My only mistake was revealing the extend of my preparation).

Pics look awesome. Post more!